To Self

A note to self: Connect my Spirit with Earth more often.

(photo by Art Durand Photography)

To Self

11/29/10

I must forever remember

when giving to others,

whether lover, family, friends,

clients, community, or world,

my continuous Earth connection

and 'Divinity of Soul'

intertwined with omnipotent Source

which permeates each breath,

making me more 'Spirit'

than human who struggles

through challenges mind creates,

stories about 'ego' control

activated by mirror reflections

life offers as fodder

when taking things personally,

wishing for different scenarios

that bottle joyful presence,

negates curiosity about Mystery,

constricts 'service' to self.

Another Day

Sunset above my humble home on beautiful tree lined ridge overlooking Soquel, California.

(photo by Art Durand Photography)

Another Day

11/27/10

After Thanksgiving dinner celebrations,

our bowling following breakfast,

then afternoon departure yesterday,

I'm back home, present,

in moment, listening rain,

loving wood stove heat,

my life, Mom, family,

dear friends, neighbors, acquaintances

around world, in town,

and my lover G

who meets me fully,

there's home, animal companions,

land, ancestors, myriad blessings

for having made choices

that delivered me here

as who 'I am',

becoming, being, while disintegrating,

holding onto nothing I

rejoice living another day.

Thankfully

The Spitzer Family in 1959

Thankfully

11/26/10

Preciousness strikes me

when opening heart

to feel love

I have now

for this life,

friends, family, lover,

acquaintances I've known,

my animal companions,

teachers, young, old,

our glorious Earth,

immediate land surroundings,

the trees, birds,

garden, wild growth

surrounding home, shop,

medicine wheel, where

praying for ancestors

Dad is remembered

having passed on,

thankfully Mom's alive.

Up To

Tapestry of vines bearing heart shaped leaves beneath the redwoods next to my home.

Up To

11/24/10

Lately I've been wondering

about my soul's intention

as it's veered about

magnetizing myriad life circumstances,

a path less traveled

that often was disconcerting

for my ego, friends,

family, lovers along way,

with it's stops, starts,

seemingly fractured rhyme, reason,

so distortedly crazy making,

yet, in second half

of this extraordinary adventure

I'm weaving found threads

into tapestry of wisdom,

(entertaining that flattering idea)

seeing the underlying interconnection

infiltrating experiences through trials,

tribulations, discovering what my

soul's been up to.

Variances

Cross country skiing near Inverness, Scotland. February, 2007

Variances

11/23/10

Fall weather

heading winter

brings shifts

in activities,

thought process,

food eaten,

clothes worn,

also potential

for work

that slows

if construction

is profession,

no lament,

I'm thrilled

accepting change,

the opportunities

surrounding creativity

filling mind,

heart, soul,

with variances.

Ingest

My nephew Tyler, turned 5, ready to ingest birthday cake with friends.

Ingest

11/22/10

Conversation around 'chemical attractions'

got me thinking again

about scientists finding particles

plus much space between

that constitute 'physical' reality,

there's also food eaten,

thoughts entertained, exercise regiments,

meditative private practices, love

with it's accordant feelings,

all pumping influence into

our 'sense making' brains

which map the territory

we've experienced, taken in,

promoting dreams of more

whether same, or unique,

all the while witness

to mind, body, spirit,

emotions, magnetizing present choices

of what, when, where,

if, we'll ingest opportunity.

Lost Memories

Photo to remember use of work shop as art studio.

Lost Memories

11/20/10

Are they ever really,

perhaps just misplaced synapse

tucked into gray matter

where sacred remembrances sleep,

special vaults connecting feelings

which become body awareness,

subtle 'inner knowing' sensations

we can't quite place

while it effects attractions,

our intangible guidance system

of intuition, instinct, perception,

still mystery to scientists

but not lovers, poets,

artists who follow threads

invisible, ethereal, yet apparent,

sensed as provocatively real

within imagination sharing space

next to files containing

all life's lost memories.

Kiva Moons

A summer full moon with golden grass, not the green of November's first kiva moon.

Kiva Moons

11/19/10

Advancing weather system heralds

complete 'full' lunar cycle,

accumulated snow to 2500 ft.,

rain for lower elevations,

I hear fire, metal,

interact in Ben Franklin

old wood burning stove,

'Wing' dog breathes contently

warm just feet away,

smiling, writing, drinking tea

my body says 'Yes!'

as mind delights knowing

winter will provide respite

from busy outdoor activities

enabling inner world exploration

in my work shop,

bringing ideas to Earth

and on blank pages

waiting to be filled

during Kiva Moons dreamtime.

In Support

The San Francisco Giants playing defense during their 2010 World Series Champion season.

In Support

11/18/10

Within interdependent world

we meet many

who provide services

for mundane existence,

grocer, policeman, clergy,

every life aspect

has corresponding connection

to others involved,

where all rise

or fall accordingly,

granted in degree

when society fluctuates

economically, politically, militarily,

with repercussions felt

far and wide,

making daily self-care

essential practice so

whenever needed changes

arrive, we're ready

participants in support.

Play Part

'On the job' of remodeled 3 story water tower structure at Lakeside Farm, Watsonville, Ca.

Play Part

11/17/10

If we don't speak up

when life gives the opportunity

to reflect on another's actions,

the effects that ripple out

whether good, bad or indifferent,

then occasion to expand evaporates,

especially when 'on the job'

where delivered doors, assembled poorly,

will be returned as opening

for deeper understandings to come,

a worker can refine abilities

while manager revisits quality control,

I get to discuss integrity,

craftsmanship, with client as assurance

that health of relationship depends

on honesty with full disclosure,

airing out dissatisfaction so expression

might activate growth between participants

who play part in manifestation.

To Earth

Satellite view of the 'Isle of Mull', Scotland. My home for 5 months, winter of 2006-2007.

To Earth

11/16/10

How is it

humans have forgotten,

taken for granted

life bestowing Mother,

the Divine Feminine

always giving birth,

what keeps us

in our heads,

out of body,

our sacred vessel

filled with Her,

why don't we

walk, have visit,

get in touch,

discover the Mystery,

interconnectedness, and wisdom

She exudes, whispers,

models, waiting our

contact to Earth.

Stealth

My girl 'Wing' fully aware of sights, sounds, and 'smells' on recent walkabout in the woods.

Stealth

11/15/10

To own animal instincts,

one's strength, grace, fierceness

when hunting for authenticity,

fully claiming your responsibility

while hungrily stalking Life,

it's outcome whether success

or failure, depends awareness

on 360 degree surroundings,

every interior/exterior movement,

exercising essential balance, determination,

because 'wounded' won't survive

if unable to act,

pounce boldly for fear

that advance will cripple,

leaving them victim, prey,

incapable of following scented

full aliveness each day,

whereas 'health' bristles vibrancy,

attuned stealth, and power.

Through

I'm a 'Horse in the Clouds' in Chinese Astrology. Seeing a fiery one here galloping into sunset.

Through

11/13/10

It's done deal,

homey knows 'home',

owning my life

like an animal

owns each moment,

movement, itself, environment,

fully in power

to effect surroundings

just by presence,

while stealthily hunting

for distorted beliefs

around living, love,

sentimentality, partnership, promises ...

forget planning future

doesn't matter anymore,

time wasted worrying,

'I'M HERE NOW!',

moving instinctually, boldly,

fiery, fully alive

through mysterious world.

Resurgence

Jen and Dan Grady at beginning of pregnancy.

Their little girl arrived 11/12/10.

Resurgence

11/13/10

Indomitable life carries on,

babies are born daily,

brown, dry Californian soil

sprouts green with rain,

hidden seeds held dormant

turn vibrant, pulse electricity,

even as light shortens,

harvest foretells death cycle

of winter's cold grip,

for some, not others,

either way a precursor

that heralds inevitable spring,

summer, seasons continuing circle,

changing moment to moment,

not to be cursed

but embraced as adventure,

keeping us aware, attentive,

on toes, peering, wondering

what resurgence will arrive.

No Hold

My hands and interlocked fingers.

(photo by Art Durand Photography)

No Hold

11/12/10

Great pleasure, joy, love,

invariably can hook us,

create desire for more,

a grasping and clinging

which rings death knell

for surprising natural unfoldment,

freedom then gets caged

when trying to reproduce

that which 'once was',

never to be again

always an impossible dream

within ever changing world,

better to be curious,

open to what's next,

emotionally flexible when receiving,

following, sequential virgin moments

without comparison, feeling awe,

wonder, for miraculous adventure

no hold can keep.

Difficulties

Abiquiu Reservoir with 'Ghost Ranch' territory in distance.

Abiquiu, New Mexico

Difficulties

11/11/10

It takes practice

to overcome tendencies,

habits, we've acquired

unbeknownst to us

until relationship mirror

shows shadow side,

or punctures bubble

filled with fear

that entirely coats

our world view,

makes breath hard

thinking of drowning

from encompassing distortion,

we must swim

back to shore,

regain love's footing,

simply, for self,

capably stabilized again

transforming life's difficulties.

Other Side

Tantra statue and Nirvana candles at bedside table.

Other Side

11/10/10

Buddhists talk of duality

overcoming our essential nature

by detaching from mind

that wants to analyze,

judge, find safe ground

to 'know' Dharma control,

an inherently masculine trait

which the feminine disrupts,

thus celibacy to repress

a woman's powerful influence,

leaving love at door

plus desire, authenticity, empathy,

for higher evolutionary consciousness,

though 'All is Tao'

even fear I experience

when vulnerably opening heart

into 'no guaranteed' unknown

feeling male 'life force'

connecting female other side.

Enthusiasm

Excitable, enthusiastic me. Monterey Bay, Santa Cruz. Calif.

(photo by Art Durand Photography)

Enthusiasm

11/9/10

Inspired, possessed by God,

state of impassioned emotion,

transport, elevation of fancy,

exaltation of soul, ecstasy,

(Webster's New International Dictionary)

'Wow! What a sensation!'

and to have that

for yourself, upon awakening,

bringing such 'in-spirit' electricity

out into the world,

breathing, imbibing Divine Life

when participating with others

becomes great human 'communion',

far beyond that marvel

is lovers' intimate intertwining,

sharing individual dreams, visions,

met with unbridled joy,

emotionally, spiritually, physically, mentally,

with 'BIG ENERGY' enthusiasm.

Witnessed

A few of the lucky grandchildren blessed to be witnessed by their Grandma Dorothy.

Witnessed

11/8/10

There's something to this,

studies reveal unhealthy isolation,

that somewhere in humans

communion is essential nature

being we're gregarious species

needing touch, affection, nurturance,

to give, receive, share

intimacy with loved ones,

creating 'heart healthy' life

even though sometimes difficult

with friction of differences,

yet benefits far outweigh

what many deem negative

when navigating emotional waters

in changing relationship currents,

and forgotten is synthesis,

the great catalyzing force

sparking courageous transformation, resurgence,

souls discover when witnessed.

King

Snow dusted Scottish mainland skirts Isle of Mull's 'Duarte Castle' of Clan Maclean.

King

11/6/10

This expansive benevolent archetype

is master of domain,

life's myriad 'reality territories'

in physical illusory world

with their demands, stressors,

that often set siege

on castled inner peace,

where if healthy, balanced,

any assault is repulsed,

eventually seen as blessing

which informs, strengthens wisdom

to address unrest early,

and sometimes hidden agents

disguised as trustworthy messengers

try undermining united front,

inject inner espionage thoughts

recognized by infectious separation,

fear of change, clinging,

once exposed is thanked,

forgiven, transformed by King.

My Part

Irish storyteller relating a 'participatory' tale during 'First Peace Launch'.

Land of Shining Stones, Abiquiu, New Mexico

My Part

11/4/10

It's not just up to me

how life plays out in world

so many other characters join story

creating all manner of societal structure

supplying food, fuel, energy, economy, work,

and there's Mother Nature's nurturing ways

weaving earth, wind, fire, and water

into all forms of diverse Existence

as model depicting our interconnected web,

yet I remember days gone by

that like Confirmation namesake 'Saint Christopher'

I've felt weight of world's suffering

trying to make sense of madness

thinking someone needs to stand up,

sacrifice, take one for the team,

only to find myself totally overwhelmed,

finally realizing peace begins right here,

inside, with love, then moves out

while doing my part within relationships.

Truth

Sunset from ferry heading to the Montezuma Peninsula, Costa Rica.

Truth

11/3/10

I'm not interested

in contrived life

weighing out possibilities,

probabilities, from mind

playing security game,

lining up ducks

to minimize pain,

hurt, from living,

instead I open

making myself vulnerably

courageous to slings,

arrows, existence offers,

realizing greatest wisdom

comes when blows

shatter protective ego,

expose soul beneath

that is indestructible,

holding what's unequivocal,

heart's sacred truth.

Past

Stone circle I created during 'walkabout' ceremony with RainbowHawk and WindEagle.

Plaza Blanco Arroyo, Abiquiu, New Mexico

Past

11/2/10

Beyond societal upbringing

of men, women

together in relationship

with their roles,

should, should nots

trappings of normality,

lies real connection

fecundity buried deep

beneath programmed layers

whenever souls intertwine

destined to share

consciousness, time, space,

expressed through friendship,

authenticity, honest participation

in daily life

without boundary, restriction,

no set path,

only love's freedom

leaving past behind.

Beyond Potential

Fireworks at Kinloch Hotel, during Hogminay celebration.

Pennyghael, Isle of Mull, Scotland

Beyond Potential

11/1/10

Further than conscious reach,

past space and time

into blank evolutionary void

is essence of everything,

nothing, interwoven as mystery

in recesses of inconceivability,

where life, death pale,

just more '10,000 things'

born between visible, invisible,

entering existence as miracle,

dream, known yet unknown,

only needing electric spark

from friction of opposites

to create 'Big Bang'

within possibility and probability

found in Creation's ethers,

breath of feminine, masculine,

finding united unpredictable form,

'stardust' living beyond potential.

Fully Secure

Grand Canyon and Colorado River from North Rim vantage point.

Fully Secure

10/31/10

It's another great paradox

that by letting go

the idea of 'self',

seeing nothing is permanent

as river constantly changes ,

and 'myself' a collective

of elemental ingredients, earth,

water, fire, air, space,

plus consciousness, I'm freed,

knowing transient fluid life

gives no guaranteed promises,

where dying I'll continue,

return to molecular world,

yet instead of insecurity

I feel connected, inseparable

from ancestors and heirs,

every tree, rock, cloud,

animal, bug, or human,

fully secure, openly loving.