Garden beds in process/eventual 'sweat lodge' structure/my medicine wheel

Invested Passion

3/29/09

I've been testing odd theories

trusting life's 'perfection and timing'

doing what I can, being patient,

working on my land projects

each one connected to the other

and some headway is made daily

which makes me feel good to see,

enjoying these stretches at home,

yet more money needs to flow in,

pay for continued bills landing

while peering out to future events

wondering what life is asking of me,

so today I follow a thread,

thinking it's 'grace' that called

when 'sweat lodge' was offered

perfect opportunity to drop in,

shift energy, pray deeply, to find

the intention and direction needed,

sparked with inspired guidance,

that will catapult me forward

to wake with 'promise' on my tongue,

then 'praise' for gifts before sleeping,

drawing upon those genius insights

aimed at creating structural foundation

for sustaining the living imperatives

only my invested passion can bring.

Nevada, Sept. weather, 2008

(side road off of  'Extraterrestrial Highway')

Onward

3/26/09

Is this simply how it is

when told the universe is expanding,

are humans emulating on 'micro' level,

procreating, consuming, producing more,

and is it possible to reverse momentum,

this 'paradigm', while embracing contraction,

contrary to 'economic growth' model,

but not Nature's, she has seasons,

cycles from birth to death,

seed to fruit, and we do to,

where periods of aging bring gifts

of knowledge, wisdom, life experience,

one leading to the next, to maturity

in degrees, depending our willingness,

contrariness, when caught in contradictions

often wondering what's 'true' for us

on ever changing miracle landscape

while personal 'environment' ... mental,

physical, spiritual, emotional ...

continues to gather layers of residue

from wanted, or unwanted conditions,

yet we get to choose the 'weather',

'whether' to travel the road ahead

without veering from storms looming,

bearing any loss through our tears,

or move onward by picking a new direction.

Ascent on 'Scridain', (Kevin, Mike, Paul)

 Loch Scridain and Ross of Mull in background

 Isle of Mull, Scotland  Feb. 2007

Success

3/25/09

"Persistence." is what Obama said

brings victory in the long run

going after incremental changes

often a slow ascent up mountainside

creeping along with low visibility

as vision shifts according to circumstance,

it is 'creative process' into the 'Unknown'

where trust, faith, past lessons learned,

are part of necessary preparation

while hoping for stamina to persevere,

asking questions to refine our course

paying attention for signs, red flags,

those times to recognize, and celebrate,

having overcome a hurdle gracefully,

to find completion in phases, or overall,

with a 'dream' physically birthed,

this is when plain satisfaction won't do

the 'genius' used to manifest ideas

from resource, assembly, plan and action,

is no small feat on any scale

and demands unique expression of energy

allowing emotions to mark the triumphant

on a cellular level to be remembered,

which cultivates desire, deep willingness,

for unblinkingly facing life's tribulations

knowing 'success' is measured in blessings.

English garden in  Compton, Surrey, England

Fenced In

3/24/09

I enclosed the garden yesterday

to keep deer out, plants safe,

putting together a makeshift gate

plenty big for wheelbarrow entry

and it's temporary, at least parts,

until I rebuild existing periphery

their wind snapped rotted posts

then a large area will be open

without concern for intrusion,

perhaps like an old English sanctuary

with walls of wood, not stone or brick

which kept all trespassers out,

mine has small places of entry

where a rabbit could do harm

but 'Hammer' the cat is deterrent,

symbolically this is really my mind

readying to sow manifesting thoughts

while the beauty I create enhances

how I feel when greeting the world,

this diverse environment of possibility,

it stands out that I'm alone

doing my private work in preparation

of expansion and inviting friends in

for sharing, celebration, and harvest

though now, my process calls for protection,

being fenced in, guarding my sensory dreams . 

Seabright Beach, Santa Cruz

(photo by Art Durand Photography)

Building Power

3/23/09

"Be strong!" is the directive

that imperative must be embraced,

be in command of your prowess,

natural talents, unique birthright,

do not mistake this as 'hardened'

without sensitivity or open heart,

it is the opposite, yet invulnerable

to slings and arrows thrown at you

from circumstance, fearful humans,

or life's obstacles and challenges,

meet it all with irrepressible resilience,

vigor, confidence, competence, equanimity,

shut out debilitations that linger

past hurt or worry reminding of weakness,

instead take heed to lessons learned

by changing approach for different results

even though while being realistic, "Dream!"

let 'Source' come into you to live,

be, do, inform, as embodied Self

follow intuition, inspiration, guidance,

say "Yes!" to resonate vibrations

turn away from that which demeans,

decreases connection to all good things,

heal what is broken, imagine what's possible,

manifest your potential, by building power.

In my 'medicine wheel'. 

(photo by Art Durand Photography)

Altered States

3/22/09

This body, it's ganglia of impulses

is so easily effected by us,

not only by food consumed

liquids, vitamins, supplements,

but exercise, our social activities

friends and family we converse with

plus special intimate love connections,

there is animal companion influence,

our environment, urban or rural,

including inner landscape as individual

innate interests naturally drawn to,

what brings joy without question

or disdain from vibrational mismatch,

no doubt our thoughts are potent,

spurring emotions, activating adrenals,

sweeping us high, laying us low

often on roller coaster out of control,

add substance use, or abuse to the mix

and humans can become volatile cocktail

messing with one's chemical makeup

to discover temporary formula for peace,

happiness, love of self and this world,

while our 'soul', the 'spiritual witness',

observes this theater of the absurd,

guiding and encouraging us toward balance,

instilling life, as ceremony, into altered states.

My girl and constant companion, 'Little Wing'

Relax

3/21/09

"Life often reminds me."

'Wing' dog luxuriously reclined

on bed, her cushion,

legs crossed, slowly breathing

through nose, so content

from wood stove heat,

there are no worries,

she is cared for

at ease with life,

loved, often kissed, petted,

and the 'workshop' cats

stretch while they greet

leave their imprinted blankets

to rub against legs,

mine, when feeding them...

in 'Medicine Wheel' praying

bird's soothingly sing praise,

plants, flowers, trees, air,

are still, between worlds,

dawn light reveals fog

lazily enveloping this ridge

softening color and sound

creating a temple sacredness

that slows my heartbeat

finding Nature's peaceful rhythm

as I relax within.

Rainbow  light above my home in Soquel hills

New Season

3/20/09

On the edge of morning fog, Spring,

back in this home of many years,

the beauty of this land healing me,

I consider all that is shifting,

being birthed, subtly and not so,

in the world, nations, humans, myself,

and our great opportunity to create

that which we've only dared dream

for the perfection in timing is 'now',

there are no guarantees of success,

or security, or painless transition,

this life is a risk to 'simply live'

death awaits us with no exception

what we leave is the 'heart of our efforts'

witnessed in love manifested physically

felt emotionally within daily encounters

mystifying the brain to make sense of

as our spirits recognize it in each other

when free to choose without constraint,

or need, for protection from fear scenarios

born of our hideous shadowed history

thinking humanity's character is concrete,

deeply flawed, unshakably engrained,

but it's our light that is constant

and from the darkness we burst forth

to bring a new season of evolutionary change.

50th B-day celebration, 2004, Marc Bass on harmonica

Tuning In

3/19/09

There is no greater imperative

for 'know thy self' is at the root

of understanding life's existence

through singularly unique filters

our 'body/mind/spirit/emotion' entity

that is constantly recreating itself

according to circumstances pressing in

and how we equate, assume, react,

where response reveals inner world,

jerky, graceful, empowered, fearful,

often only seen in the distancing,

days, weeks, years pass for hindsight

to witness missed cues or actions taken

then measured according to criteria

mostly that of family, societal upbringing,

amount of education, our working knowledge,

plus wisdom gleaned or imparted by elders

comparing ourselves to others idolized

whether affections are justified or not

which becomes ground for discovery

depending the depth we choose to dig,

do we passively accept what's fed us

or chew on a wide world of ideas

finding our own individual sustenance

no matter how anyone else does it

by tuning in to what turns us on.

Big Dipper at Santa Cruz Boardwalk  (photo by Art Durand Photography)

Heart Sparks

3/18/09

I get my hopes up

let them rise unabashedly

practicing a form of amnesia

which allows me joyousness

to feel high on emotional scale,

whether quick or slow ascent,

it is roller coaster chugging to peak

and my spirit soars accordingly,

excited anticipation of surprise turns

the unknown thrilling surges

while being tossed, jostled, tested

when trying to stay centered,

with eyes open, attentive to now,

what's coming next, and the past,

at times holding on for dear life,

then others, hands swaying in air

releasing energy in whoops, hollers

until course ends, exhilaration ebbs,

a sense of peace prevails briefly,

becoming empty melancholy loss,

opposite end to pendulum swing

wondering if it all was worth it

only to have strong urge come back,

willing to ride, pay price for 'love',

as heart sparks ignite desire to risk again.

North Rim of Grand Canyon, beyond the guardrail, 2008 motorcycle trip

All I Can

3/13/09

Making headway daily,

(if only to grow older)

always seems to bring expanse

some adding onto myself

hopefully that involves knowledge

calling it 'wisdom' would be cool

if only for personal refinement

supporting my own wild world view

when moving through new experiences

plumbing depths of heart

feeling joy, pain, gain, loss

to discover inherent strength

the resilience to try again

with greater understanding of life

able to finally laugh about it

each trespass and failed effort

especially when love was involved

those times I've come up short

thinking there were things missed

that more could have been done,

or at the very least, differently,

for results show me my 'work'

what still needs clear attention,

though not pretty to look at,

while reaping what I've sewn

doing all I can to make changes.

Scottish Clan women on Isle of Mull, old photo  hung in hotel lobby

Moving Through

3/12/09

Humans are so adaptive

having come this far

to transition so much

history tells of obstacles,

striving victims, villains, heroes,

all with indomitable spirit

until vanquished by death,

time, this weighty world,

our generation, no different,

those before and behind

grouped together by circumstance

who sought something more,

perhaps some existential connection

between Source, Nature, Reality,

where each individual acknowledges

Creation's mind blowing Mystery

within bouts of 'awakening'

falling asleep, numbing out,

when unable to really fathom

the infinite magic here,

all of us united,

'One' teeming 'Life expression',

that can thicken, obscure

everyone's Light at times.

reminding of the challenges

we are moving through.

Friend Rose in bracken field near Rossyln Chapel in Scotland

Collecting Myself

3/10/09

The world is contracting, 

well, humans are anyway

with latest financial strive

from greedy over extension

out of balance risking,

where energy is dissipated,

too much to manage,

in territories far flung

that need caring attention

so subtleties are known

in each particular field,

yet control isn't it,

we need a marriage

between left, right brain,

masculine, feminine, art, science,

more, a holistic approach,

demanding creative, smart access

to all parts within

calling upon poetic grace

our childlike birthright joy

while tuning into passion

what brings us alive

for sake of happiness

which is life's gift

given back and forth

when collecting myself fully.

Train in England with Lake District in background

What Works

3/8/09

Patiently I'm making strides

spurts and sputters have shifted

as a smooth grace prevails

beginning to see things manifest

in accumulated small changes,

and I feel like a locomotive

having found right fuel mix

to propel myself up slippery slopes,

tight turns, those steep grades

that threaten to suck me back

from the sheer weight of dreams,

those I pull behind as boxcars

filled with ideas, possibility, potential,

if for some reason I'd try to stop,

even when tracks showed a fork

I've been able to navigate direction

willing to accept 'what is', now,

being realistic with life's circumstances

listening to Source showing the way

while continuing to live, love, laugh,

find the silver lining in all things

every event that comes as surprise,

contrary to my hopes and prayers

striving onward, a steady 'conductor',

on course to find what works.

Kevin at Seabright Beach

(photo by Art Durand Photography)

Show Up

3/7/09

Everyday we're asked

when waking from slumber

to arise, meet this miracle,

in all it's splendorous existence

no matter the conditions,

some mornings are easier than others

depending on health, state of mind,

life's many concerns calling

that challenge our equilibrium, 

and it's our desires,

the passions that excite

deep inspiration inside us,

dreams we want to manifest,

which instigate emotional energy

pumping vibrance into senses

as we become truly alive,

anything contrary is a sign

a red flag, to stop, listen,

be curious about what's needed

so vitality reigns supreme,

often that means leisure,

get off the work treadmill,

view art, hear music, sing,

play in ways that rejuvenate

for future ability to show up.

Ben Mor, Isle of Mull, Scotland

Cutting Back

3/6/09

The world is being asked,

more likely severely prodded,

to begin reducing consumption 

become conscious of it's movements

how it thinks and believes

about what's been normalized

unquestioned in so many realms

and I've never been big fan

of capitalist system born into,

no one asked for my vote on it,

where I'd thunderously say 'NO!!'

wanting equality and fairness instead

a sharing of resources, not exploitation,

ridding the world of poverty, insecurity,

so we can all can live in peace

bring out our unique gifts of beauty

enhancing the space we live in

being healthy in mind, body, spirit,

plus emotions, that have such power

when propelling one's clear aim

toward what is good, right, authentic,

from our deepest essential yearning

for manifesting our true soul work

that which no one else could give

in the moment, or our lifetime,

while cutting back on extravagance.

My 'croft' window view, Kintra, Isle of Mull, Scotland

Windows

3/4/09

In between storms

sun shines brilliantly

unobstructed beauty viewed

through one's eyes

heartening the soul

that there's reprieve

always some change

waiting to happen

nothing is permanent

security an illusion

perhaps hope also

life unfolds itself

warts and all

yet we choose

what to appreciate

focus upon daily

forming a discipline

which effects manifestation

from our acts

large or small

becoming the frame

lens, filtered receptor

pane of glass

streaked, dirty, clear

our final portraits,

seen from windows.

Hogminay Fireworks,  Kinloch, Isle of Mull 2006

New Information

3/3/09

In this ever changing world

I make sense according to input

the knowledge gathered and retained

along my 'journey song' path

and often current data can color

or reframe many life experiences

perhaps finally understanding 'why'

I chose some way of acting out

thinking at the time it was right,

truly who I was, never to vary,

only to find otherwise years later

that meaning and truth shift

on this slippery slope of reality

which takes balance to navigate,

being able to adjust one's center,

keep coming back to what is,

my constant responsibility to influence,

be self author of my existence

mustering as much creative power

this mind/body/heart/soul can

while intuiting my feelings for grace,

ease, and flow which will define me,

in high expression, from innate abilities

those that often lie dormant, waiting

for new information to bring them to life.

Mileage sign near Kintra, Isle of Mull, Scotland

Implications

3/2/09

Imagine everything is a sign

with no inherent worth per se

except for how we measure it

by using thoughts, having emotions,

sensing it by internal antenna

gauging vibrations and frequency,

becoming the storyteller, director,

while making our daily choices

according to some mysterious matrix

uniquely encoded within our cells

specific to our own personal DNA

even as we share general traits

being human in this physical world,

and what if nothing really mattered

when grasped while taking last breath

realizing we had the power of creation

that nothing stood in our way

except ourselves, our socialized beliefs,

or stuck patterns from life's trauma

but essentially we were always free

instilled with inherent nature of joy,

as birthright, our child self knew

in the beginning, entering this miracle,

where, once in alignment consciously

we could fathom graceful creative path,

correcting course as implications were felt.

Scottish friends on Isle of Mull at my Feb. 18th 2007 birthday/going away ceilidh

Associations

3/1/09

There is no getting away from it

always bumping or rubbing up against

whether mentally with river of thoughts,

past memories coloring today's perceptions

and those informing a possible future

or our constant physical proximity,

the ever changing environment crowding in

influencing our senses to open or close

to what we see, hear, smell, taste, feel

even as the unnoticed enters the subconscious

all of it spilling into this 'life experience',

animals, plants, people we come to know

as family, friends, acquaintances and such

each carrying unique overall vibration

plus specific nuance that effects us

with positive or negative emotions

depending on some ethereal chemistry

perhaps activated by tone, speech, touch,

whether they remind us with visual links

of some intangible combination we like,

dislike, can tolerate, or really love,

often times filling a personal vacancy

supplying us with affection we lack,

are unable to give ourself somehow,

becoming a reflection for what's needed

sparking associations to the truth we've missed.

 Lighthouse and Wharf  from Seabright Beach, Santa Cruz

Chemistry

2/27/09

Some say this is what life is, 

atoms, neurons, active ingredients

even inert substances, interacting,

now we find thoughts spur on adrenals,

fluids course associated with value,

depending if positive, negative, or neutral,

flowing into and flushing our system as affect

until we react with fight, flight, or freeze

perhaps not really agreeing to any

consciously, as our body runs old program

some learned response from past

contrasting with an empowered decision

that lets in emotions to be fully felt

to gather wisdom from different parts

activated in situations, such as 'personas',

and often we are thrown into mystery,

the unfamiliar or previously denied,

territories waiting to be discovered

which flesh out deeper understanding

expand awareness, compassion, trust,

reaffirming that we adapt, survive,

most trauma or drama encountered

when living what is true each moment,

though in comparison it feels less than,

tentative, remembering resourceful times

our chemistry brought out the best in us.