Always More

The road winding through Zion National Park, Utah.

Always More

5/15/10

The list will survive,

is added onto, grows,

even while crossing off

earlier projects now finished,

it is often said

'Universe abhors a vacuum.'

always wanting to fill

space waiting to create

something out of nothing,

and humans share program

'Progress for own sake.'

way past simple needs,

so addicted to paradigm

that stopping is difficult

with ego measuring everything,

rarely able to 'be'

we glorify our 'becoming'

unwilling to recognize satisfaction

thinking there's always more.

Leads

5,000 year old stone carvings at Achnabreck in Scotland.

Leads

5/14/10

One thing, to another,

each experience has threads

that reverberate when touched

as if spider web

feeling prey when trapped,

turning, pulling, flapping hard,

matching human survival struggles

often thinking separate, alone,

dog eat dog world

bent to daily task

fearful of what's next

forgetting we jail ourselves,

are devourer and devoured,

yet there is choice

to discover in search,

where looking for good

requires eyes to see

a friendly universe waiting

for recognition of leads.

Creation

A view from my workshop deck a few years ago.

Creation

5/13/10

What am I

'bringing to life'

with every action,

thought, feeling, prayer...

when intuitions come

do I follow

wholeheartedly, without doubt,

discovering new venues

barely daring existence

guiding me homeward,

will I falter

by denying impetus

that engages Soul,

it's natural power,

greatness, unique perspective

which favors ingenuity,

pulling beauty out

of random parts

creation joins together.

Closer

Relaxed anticipation.

(photo by Art Durand Photography)

Closer

5/12/10

Not only are days progressing

toward moment of physical contact

with whatever attraction that entails

in visual and sensual realm,

but there is intimacy growing

from emails, phone calls, laughter,

the trading off of stories

and deep understanding from hearts

similarly familiar with tragic loss,

trial and errors that transform,

we share appreciation of beauty

spiritually connecting on vibrational plane

asking about our soul agreement

to meet in this way,

feeling each other from afar

while childlike joy bubbles up,

loving the anticipation without expectation

sensing a quickening and alignment

promising surprises when getting closer.

Swirling

Stone spiral on the Isle of Iona, Scotland

Swirling

5/11/10

As center of consciousness

I have 'response ability'

that chooses what's next

amid life's myriad possibilities

on physical, ego plane

while underneath this world

(if metaphysical like me)

is my soul journey

with it's own agenda

 reincarnated this time around,

and often, in morning,

as I review, write,

dream today's great potential,

curiously wondering life's surprises,

new opportunities begin calling,

teasing, adding to influx

of what wants created

in miraculous Mystery moment

swirling ethers of perfection.

Take Your Time

Camping at 'First Peace Launch' in 'Ghost Ranch' country.

Abiquiu, New Mexico

Take Your Time

5/10/10

These words of wisdom

spoken by dear friend

resonate more than ever

the older I get,

reminded how little presence

I've given to 'moment',

infinite, transfiguring, fleeting instant,

having lived in past

of could've, should've regrets

or readily dreamed future

where all is ideal,

rarely 'Be here, now!'

though that has changed,

leaving failures, expectations, alone

while letting possibilities unfold

when loving 'what is'

without measuring good, bad,

trusting Life evolves organically,

so take your time.

Mother's Day

Mothers Donna (sister), Dorothy (my mom), and Mary Ann (sister).

Mother's Day

5/9/10

Every human has one

all born of woman

we are the children

of this great phenomenon,

birthed into miraculous Mystery

through the archetypal feminine

that nurtures all Creation

seeing it continues onward,

each daughter has potential

to join ancestral lineage

bringing forth in world

from womb of 'being',

then 'becoming', a soul

embodied in physical realm

who can shine light,

be a loving force,

emulating 'Sacred Life Giver'

transforming spirit into matter,

celebrated on Mother's Day.

For Reason

Callanish Stones, Isle of Lewis, Scotland

Humans still wonder  the underlying reasons for 'standing stones' and 'stone circles'.

For Reason

5/8/10

What if underlying everything

there is inconceivable matrix

that runs spiritual conduits

of entwined electrical junctions

which spark, and fire,

in varying degree depending

on closeness to destiny,

karma, fate, or design,

if out of alignment

with deep soul purpose

the 'light' is weak

and person doesn't shine

through eyes brightly inspired

when on mainline track

riding easily and gracefully,

smoothly navigating life's turns

instead, struggle is norm,

chaos, disruptions, rare serendipity,

reminding, 'Look for reason.'

Embody

Leaning against van that will someday be my 'welding shop'.

(photo by Art Durand Photography)

Embody

5/6/10

It's well and good

to read about concepts,

often intellectualizing philosophical threads,

how ideas effect world

plus dynamics of evolution,

yet, rubber meets road

when bringing into practice

a shift in consciousness

from myriad of choices

introduced by growing awareness,

the refined virgin perceptions

seemingly orchestrated by something

outside common ego constructs,

as if 'Soul ordered',

meaning both aligned beyond

and requesting deep connection

within greater 'I AM'

that resonates Universal Power

while I embody 'Self'.

Eventually

View from Crow's Nest Restaurant, Santa Cruz, California,

when having 'victory drink' after month long motorcycle trip in the Southwest.

Eventually

5/5/10

Everything in own timing

comes to it's fruition,

sometimes just barebones completion

without any real thrills

or big celebrations afterward,

often only inner recognition

of work well done,

and if we're fortunate

we can flex muscle

toward dreams and plans

that will alter life

for ourself and others

because we have resources

to make them manifest,

spurred by soul desires

which naturally rise up

made known by disturbance

in our daily living

we eventually listen to.

Hidden

On ferry trip from Orkney Island to Scottish mainland.

Hidden

5/4/10

So much underneath

this physical realm

waiting our recognition,

and the adage

'You'll find what

you look for.',

whether friendly universe,

or not, depends

on belief system,

are there lessons

to be learned

whenever button pushed

by people, life,

some different circumstance

sparks inner inquiry

about it's meaning,

if like me

there's a 'soul'

searching hidden wisdom.

Accelerate

Grapevines on my sister Donna's land in Sonoma, California

Accelerate

5/3/10

Spring is busy

once rains stop,

wildflowers bloom prolific,

orchard blossoms fall

start toward fruit,

knee high grass

waits for mower,

garden wants weeding,

improvement to beds

adding compost soil

teeming with worms,

I plant seeds,

nurture winter starts

transplanted to pots

increasing water routine

as heat rises,

my actions pace

the longer light,

days, that accelerate. 

Fecundity

Near Hanalei, Kauai, Hawaii

Fecundity

5/1/10

Today I'll work the ground,

embrace 'Beltane' while turning soil

remembering old Celtic fertility tradition,

Germanic people celebrating May Pole,

will witness birds, bees, plants,

listen the cacophony that's Creation

carrying 'OM' sound behind all,

reminded 'There is no death,

only a change of worlds.'

as spoken by Chief Seattle

part of pagan Earth Clans

all our ancestors originated from

whose ancient wisdom resonates now,

always, below civilization's clarion call

that tries to separate us

from Mother Nature, each other,

where we forget our humanity,

plus deep pulsing creative juices

activated, delivered, satiated, through fecundity.

Unreasonable

North Highland Scottish cottage present on moor during Battle of Culloden, 1746.

Final defeat for  Prince Charlie and Clans fighting for Scotland's independence.

Unreasonable

4/30/10

Progress is capitalist drug

injected by monied elite

wanting higher bank numbers

hoping to enhance ecstasy,

a joyful nirvana state

filled with bliss, pride,

though becoming forever unsatisfactory,

addictive, always more needed

when supplying shallow rewards,

unsustainable, not self induced,

'power brokers' supremely dependent

on means to end

with none 'in-sight',

it is narcissistic devouring

of nature, community, life,

while those struggling remember

every moment is precious,

to cherish unendingly, while

witnessing insecure unreasonable Greed.

Aberrations

Sunrise on Monterey Bay looking south from Santa Cruz, California. 

Aberrations

4/29/10

Listening to the BBC

about BP's oil leak

in Gulf of Mexico,

soiled water, land habitat,

disrupted livelihoods, usual business,

effecting animals and humans,

some say it's rare

a drop in bucket

on scale of oceans,

that industry is safe,

basically, while creating jobs

as needed support services,

no one checking hindsight

whether drilling is insane

to feed progress machine

overtly accelerated, subsidized, greedy,

while humanity forgets Reason,

'Living wisely, agreeably, well,'

joyful, is no aberration.

Perfect Timing

Full moon, lighthouse, and buddy Art Durand.

Seabright Beach, Santa Cruz, California

Perfect Timing

4/28/10

Wonderful moments can uplift

while in right place,

or action, which allows

window into the miraculous,

like catching full moon

enthroned on western horizon

radiantly fending off clouds

that threaten rain today,

when descending outside steps

to retrieve hot water

from kitchen for tea

because upstairs hot plate

has not been replaced,

so it often goes

where small shift begins

a simple unconscious transformation

becoming a domino effect

leading to unknown fruits

ripe in perfect timing.

Preparation

Yacht harbor lighthouse prepared for what may come.

Santa Cruz, California

Preparation

4/27/10

Always the build up

for next evolutionary step

whether big or small

as all our elements,

body, mind, spirit, emotion,

collaborate to find equanimity,

an essential peaceful intertwining

that coagulates into Oneness

intuitively known as Truth,

what's right for you,

now, as individual Soul

who's dreaming life alive

in every action taken

from precursor of thought

where invisible seeds influence

notions that become manifest

when we incubate, gestate,

articulate, the aligned blessings

grace holds in preparation.

It's Time

Ready for work and everything else.

(photo by Art Durand Photography)

It's Time

4/26/10

Beginning new poetry book

with less lined space

to fill when writing,

I thought to stop

this morning spiritual practice

of dropping into feelings,

drawing up any energy

that's been swirling recently

naming it with sentences,

instead, use those words

when writing other things

like 'soul ownership' book,

going after 'novel' completion

or commentary bubbling out,

and other activities call,

more reading, creating home,

gardening outside, in greenhouse,

working for money, realizing

it's time for everything.

Pragmatism

Western back road on the Isle of Mull, Scotland. High point Ben Mor in distance.

Pragmatism

4/23/10

This is creed when working,

doing carpentry and being creative,

it's a common sense philosophy

which leads towards what's true

for me in given moment

revealing my clear imbedded wisdom

that resonates with Soul direction,

some kind of fluid grace

bringing ease, flow, as indicator

saying I'm on right path,

there's patience and timing involved,

willingness not to be brash,

bold, until all signs point

toward right action, and timing,

so it is with living

after years of stumbling onward

half lit, half cocked, unsure,

but pretending otherwise to peers

who often influenced my decisions,

or society, family, religion, education,

effecting with their slanted perception,

I've come to inherent knowing

of what clicks with me

noticing when something doesn't completely

then coming back to authenticity

my essential relationship with Self

married to pragmatism of Existence.

Towards The End

Recent rainbow's end when looking east from my workshop rooftop.

Toward The End

4/22/10

Whether it be

near final pages

of poetry book,

phased work week,

these last years

while growing older

closer to death,

I imagine transitions

in fluid way,

excited for discovery

when advancing on

into what's new

for writing expression,

the coming weekend,

and life's turns

forever passing through

to unknown next,

my final breath

which all are

until inhaling again

beginning another cycle,

so it goes,

each blessed moment

becomes extraordinary link

between past, future,

bringing inherent transformation

if letting go

is courageously embraced

toward the end.

Somewhere

Pacific Ocean sunset somewhere near Los Angeles, California.

Somewhere

4/20/10

No one knows,

yet life leads

with it's variables

of surprise happenstance

from interconnected threads

so mysteriously crossed,

seemingly confused conduits

pulsing Divine energy

into electric moment

that is 'now'

embodied within us,

never been before

or same again

in diverse Existence,

ongoing miraculous manifestation

which becomes illusory

when grasping for

security, solidity, predictability,

forget rhyme, reason,

rational mind configurations

born of ego,

it's much bigger

subconscious Soul level

ably navigating incarnation's

fluid, creative world

teeming with adventure,

our joint interplay

destined to end

in unknown, somewhere.

It's Obvious

 Lakeside Organic Farm, Watsonville, California

It's Obvious

4/19/10

With a discerning eye

one can separate chaff

from wheat in life,

easier if not enmeshed

in emotional turbine thresher

where 'waters' clog blades

when attempting premature harvest,

not letting conditions ripen,

dry out, find fruition,

there's a waiting game

for farmer of wisdom

tapping into soulful intuition,

tough choices need making

after clearly seeing growth

beyond the illusory haze

of humid summer stickiness,

as light forebodes shift

into fall reaping, winter,

then rebirth in spring

if seeds were gathered,

painstakingly tested for vitality

asking what wants sprouting,

while fertilizing, cultivating soil

within territory that's you,

turning under the weeds,

furrowing your new direction

distinct from the past,

once you've stepped back

from turmoil, it's obvious.

Some Mornings

My makeshift bird bath in the 'wild' garden.

Some Mornings

4/17/10

There's nothing so glorious

as dawning of day,

on Saturday, in Springtime,

when wild flowers bloom

with myriad wild colors,

and early outside shower

finds me amazed, viewing

Sun illuminated rainbow strands

from silkworms' trapeze threads

while 'Kitty' runs wild

channeling crazy teenage exuberance,

scaling trees in flash,

stopping, bear hugging trunk,

then awkwardly coming down,

to stealthily hunt birds,

without success for now

which makes me glad,

I love feathered friends'

 melodically diverse vocal cacophony,

antics while they bathe

or scratch in grass,

Spring air has quality

that's filled with exhilaration

seeming to magnify beauty,

bring all senses alive,

humbling and exalting me

I become seamless witness,

at One, Divinely absorbed,

ultimately mesmerized some mornings.

Carried Away

A 'beach' kite flown up the coast near Pescadaro, Calif.

Carried Away

4/17/10

Certainly this life will

continue to transport us

over forever shifting terrain,

though ego plays part

that can't be underestimated

through constancy of choice,

no matter if daily

saying 'yes' to sameness

there are still transitions,

warps in space, time

continuum that is Existence,

the body matures, ages,

wisdom hopefully keeps growing

as with emotional expression

while spiritual connection deepens

when moving toward death,

this frontier awaits everything

of earthly, physical nature,

even Sun will die,

and we get practice

by letting go situations

which no longer serve,

whether it's self induced

or circumstances say 'no'

opportunities feather the nest,

where we'll find comfort

if able to relax

lighten up, foreswear security

carried away by wind.

Stretching

Morning stretch before 'tslagi' in my  Medicine Wheel.

(photo by Art Durand Photography)

Stretching

4/14/10

From notion

to creation

takes time,

your effort,

when reaching

into unknown,

vulnerably extending

beyond comfort

of assured

specific result,

the prediction

ego anticipates,

boosting desire

past fear,

common sense,

towards change

soul oversees

if ecological,

self fulfilling

for growth,

one's evolution

and lessons

that strip,

reshape, reframe,

in practice

like yoga

which opens

energy releasing

stuck patterns,

stretching potential.

Influence

Sail board enthusiasts up the north coast from Santa Cruz, California.

Influence

4/13/10

This world's

constant influx

that spark,

effect, mold,

hopefully inspire,

creates shifts

in consciousness

emotional fluidity

spiritual connection

physical pursuits,

it's not

hard sell

persuasive argument

with facts,

figures, results,

pointing direction

toward work,

opposite tendency

of soul's

hero journey

into unknown

distant horizon

when listening

inner stillness,

deciphering messages

from small

quiet voice

making sense

of influence.

Tiny Bursts

A burst of rainbow beauty at the end of  a storm.

Tiny Bursts

4/12/10

In so many things

this is underlying pattern,

structure of sprint, recover,

especially when growing older

needing to be sensitive

toward energy that's available,

unlike those youthful years

working and playing hard

long days, wild nights,

with their ebb, flow,

yet, seemingly more dynamic

able to carry on

beyond what's deemed healthy,

way past common sense,

now it's about creativity,

enthusiasm, those high times

entering river of grace

finding strong, steady current

where electricity sparked joy

inspires a continued unfolding

which makes we whoop,

holler, at synthesis occurring,

ideas building on themselves

leading to next 'YES!'

that has me ecstatic,

contrasting more mundane times

when gray dullness prevails

and I'm hard pressed

to ignite tiny bursts.

Different choices

My music corner upstairs.

Different Choices

4/11/10

Often what happens

when peering future

is excitement rises

about particular thought

tied to scenario,

a mere possibility

becomes hoped probability

bringing me smile

as if inevitable,

but circumstances change,

rain negates motorcycling,

recuperating week activities

with afternoon nap

supplants meeting friend,

my dispersed energy

doesn't help mind

settle on direction

to take immediately,

there are plenty,

like clean house,

clear desk, organize,

write numerous things,

make phone calls,

plan for work,

play guitar, read,

do yoga, study,

or just be,

appreciating I have

different choices available.

Out Of Time

 Early Spitzer Family portrait.

 Great grandparents, grandparents, uncles and aunts, and father. (3rd child from r.)

Out Of Time

4/10/10

This isn't about dying

though death will serve

to delete the concept

of some linear measurement

that often dictates living

through world of minutes,

hours, days, years, decades,

giving rise to labels

early, late, young, old,

with accordant emotional tether,

instead I'm talking 'presence',

ability to embody soul

while experiencing ego life

so depth is realized,

a kind of continuity

which brings ancestry forward

from original men, women,

who are in us,

having sown the seeds

accumulated through the millennia

which became individual 'me'

in still point 'now',

the forever transitioning moment

creating generations to come,

all that they'll be

within this miraculous existence

where I am absorbed,

transfixed, forefront and background,

emancipated, out of time.

Beyond Grasping

Winter sunset from Lighthouse in Santa Cruz, California.

Beyond Grasping

4/9/10

Poets, artists, songwriters try

to put flesh on

ethereal ideas, paradigms, philosophies,

that won't hold still,

darting about it seems

they only catch glimpse

of sublime Truth behind

workings of physical world,

the invisible spiderweb matrix

which weaves everything together,

though really visa versa,

our minds need training

in focusing so deeply

for perceptions to align

with Infinity that's 'now'

beneath the illusory cacophony

so many call 'living',

yet, it's 'not knowing'

or putting labels on

Mystery pulsing through us

where great transformation occurs,

forget naming your course

saying what you want

and playing to desires,

beneath the linear game

from birth to death

a unified force exists

only your soul understands,

fully, beyond grasping intellect.

Eventually

Storm clouds with colored sun ray shining through at Seabright Beach, Santa Cruz.

Eventually

4/8/10

This to shall pass,

yet we wonder when,

always it's more urgent

if life encounter disrupts

some peaceful, even keel,

with a nightmarish scenario

we pray will end

though dragging mercilessly on,

but other pendulum swing

brings our greatest delights

instilling such grand joy,

love, marvel, awe, wonder,

that we wish permanence,

hope for the continuance

of any miraculous moment

able to transform reality

into Heaven on Earth,

certainly this defines paradox

while change so constant

always sits on shoulder

reassuring shift will happen

in accordance with Destiny,

an underlying soul agreement

presented before my birth

where willingly I signed

to jump into fire

then rise like phoenix,

learning evolution demands I

eventually love what is.

Performer

Petroglyphs in the Valley of Fire, near Las Vegas, Nevada.

Performer

4/7/10

We really all are

in theater of life,

this absurd paradoxical world,

where sanity, insanity clash,

wondering which is which

and perhaps no different,

two sides, same coin,

with millions of facets

that make everyone unique

yet still the same,

born from Earth's DNA

plus common genetic ancestry,

the 'originals', without audience,

until creating it themselves,

then the storytelling began,

imagination running wild inside

needed expression, authentic transmission,

through early communicating grunts,

drumming, drawing, ritual enactment,

our 'two legged' development

exploring, discovering, expanding mind,

territory of interconnected reality

still perceived individually different,

which gave conflict rise,

who comprehends 'the Truth'

about our diverse existence,

whether miracle or chaos

containing meaning or not,

show still goes on

as every performer knows.

Meeting

My Soul embodied Self.

(photo by Art Durand Photography)

Meeting

4/6/10

At edge of unknown

I face my life

feel an unexpected wind

blow promise, give goosebumps,

send shivers up spine

anticipating the unfolding adventure,

surprises filled to brim

bringing smile, prayer, gratitude,

to lips, brushing, caressing

the surface of potential

leading me blindly forward,

yet I follow, trust,

my Soul, the guide

having led this far,

surely, gently, with understanding

when I ventured off,

brazenly, thinking more knowledgeable

than many lifetime Friend,

myself, of High Order,

who at perfect times

directed me back again

onto path less traveled

saying, 'Here's your destiny.'

crafted by skills, talents,

no wandering can deny,

or rejection of 'Calling'

that returns to remind

'This is the place,

moment, for meeting Yourself.'

I Return

Honoring Sun at ridge clearing where I first lived in a small trailer.

(photo by Art Durand Photography)

I Return

4/3/10

Again and again

call is heard

tucked into experiences,

it comes forward

subtly or loud

and with frequency

over seeming decades,

recognition is clear

when needing peace,

an easy flow

of undisturbed living,

there is melody,

key, rhyme, lyrics,

all combined together

singing emotions, feelings,

echoing in heart

saying 'Come here,

give me time,

presence, tantric essence,

commune with Existence,

write your future,

each living line

resonating with Source

through physical 'soul'

inhabiting this Earth,

be Mystery manifest

within society's cacophony.',

teaching, when confused,

I return home.

Straying

My personal Avalon, the ridge I live on.

(photo by Art Durand Photography)

Straying

4/2/10

Life is a meander

through fantastic changing terrain

while volatile fluid weather

blows, drenches, burns, chills,

within magnificent caressing beauty,

and we don garments

to ward off discomfort,

move away from storms,

are lulled by ease

into land of dreams,

the Avalon that's imagination,

wherein this outrageous Wonderland

many attractions catch eye,

invite us to stay

have dinner with possibility

enter rabbit hole potential

that slides through mists

upon our ancient knowing,

whose boggy damp hollows

can effect cellular vibration,

make blood run cold

from dread of implications,

all the effort needed

when mustering ourselves back

onto hallowed sacred ground,

this physical Earth world,

after passing beyond threshold

which separates the living,

straying soul, from Enchantment.

Incubation

Young swallows near ready to leave their nest.

Incubation

4/1/10

Within an invisible world

the Unknown, as future,

patiently crafts our parts,

understanding on profound terms

every aspect it's awakening

in bits and pieces

on journey through living,

each experience is important

for the overall feathering

which will enable flight

after thoroughly gestating lessons,

those grubs of fear,

worms that burrow doubt,

bugs from petty concerns,

there is comfortable nest

waiting to be left,

long distance to travel

toward mysterious territory ahead,

somewhere in it all

a great rhythm beckons

shaping our unique destiny

upon foundation of ancestors,

without rhyme or reason

unfathomable myriad life forms,

not to be denied,

planned out, made linear,

secure, free of falling,

risking, getting lost, failing,

while enduring essential incubation.

Reinforced

Foundation/slab with steel, concrete ready. Water tower super structure suspended above.

Lakeside Organic Farm, Watsonville, California

Reinforced

3/31/10

Life's more than gratifying

when coming upon others

who reflect our magnificence

while sharing similar perspective

as form of support,

able to recognize beauty,

miracle, love, and joy

in way we do,

following intellectual, spiritual paths

that illicit emotional cohesiveness,

through laughter, tears, compassion,

and it's the latter

which bonds friendships tight,

seeing in another 'yourself',

having felt familiar wounding

expressed by story told,

the ancient human myth

born of overcoming challenges,

succumbing to many also,

tempered in failure's fire

then rising as phoenix

stronger for the severing,

healing, and scarred reminder,

though in the aloneness

of Life's hard knocks

one can doubt worthiness,

question direction, inner stirrings,

yet somehow muster energy,

inquire Truth, experiences reinforced.