Contradictions

At 'KZSC' radio staff meeting in my early days, not fully grasping the 'greater journey'.

Contradiction

4/29/11

People can get stuck

in 'make sense' strategies,

designs, paradigms to understand

and cubby hole Existence

through 'separation' for 'diagnostics',

figuring how to 'respond'

when life shows up

differently than they're accustomed,

it makes for 'disconnect'

when meeting old friend

immersed in specific 'modality'

who immediately filters answers

to simple 'What's new?'

as 'coach, client' relationship

searching for appropriate analysis

that would assist 'evolution',

though what's really wanted

is simple 'being with',

letting words, feelings flow

without having to direct

anything anywhere for something

familiar to hold onto,

instead 'Loving what is.',

the miracle of togetherness,

even if confused ambiguity

surrounds germinating 'seed secrets'

which create unspoken contradictions.

Show Up

Finishing 'tslagi' in 'wheel', imitating 'Sacred Tree of Life'.

(photo by Art Durand Photography)

Show Up

4/28/11

When I release expectations

of ego inspired unfolding

with it's timeline results

then there's easeful acceptance

toward what wants exposure

from rare interrelated timing

unencumbered by logical manipulation,

this is 'letting go',

breathing into present moment

noticing beyond tunnel vision

lists, duties, imagined criticism,

kept to tow line,

forgetting 'freedom' as birthright,

not needing to answer,

justify, explain my actions

to jury of peers,

family, voices in head,

wherein miracles come alive

realizing my essential Oneness

within great teeming matrix

called 'Life', arriving beautifully

each day, without mankind's

propensity to take reins

toward controlling chaotic Existence,

instead asking humanity to

show up expansively open.

Stand Ground

Doing morning 'tslagi' in my 'medicine wheel' at home.

(photo by Art Durand Photography)

Stand Ground

4/27/11

One must find it first,

not easy on shifting sands

where personal truths can change

over decades, years, months, days,

through volatile youth, old age,

dependent new information doors close,

windows open to fly from

into mysterious unknown clear expanse

as myriad landing places beckon

from 'Eagle' perspective gliding above

unencumbered for moment by Earth,

breathing air of 'heart/mind' knowing,

riding, reading, listening future winds

calmly, no hurry in heavens,

this realm of Soul connection

to 'All Potential' in Universe

whenever imaginative freedom is exercised,

our godlike ability for conjuring

multiple scenarios deemed possible destinies,

trusting we'll recognize Divinity's hand

in brilliance that reveals itself

within individual 'emotional guidance system'

encased in body, sparked enthusiasm

for opportunities 'thought dreams' catalyze,

point toward, the essential claiming

needed to victoriously stand ground.

Calm Unfolding

Photo as 'Chief' from old Ehama 'Earth Wisdom' days.

Calm Unfolding

4/26/11

I am timekeeper,

events coordinator, strategist,

artistic director, doorman,

stage builder, designer,

financier, patron, historian,

visionary playwright, supplier,

music conductor, instrumentalist,

venue promoter, secretary,

ticket taker, custodian,

ceremonialist, clown, Chief,

lover, security officer,

participant, fan, observer,

actor, actress, audience,

adult, child, family,

gardener, mystic, craftsman,

comedian, supporter, messenger,

victim, villain, hero,

manifester, destroyer, peacemaker,

one who nurtures,

draws out splendor,

refurbishes old, creates,

runs rivers, jumps,

takes risks, laughs,

rides motorcycles, emotions,

lives easily, vitally,

through calm unfolding.

Rearrangement

Latest 'rearrangement' of furniture in upstairs bedroom and studio.

Rearrangement

4/25/11

Even though structured routines produce

much in way of results

sometimes they can become deadening,

where one day resembles next

as perceptions form familiar groove,

but for the creative soul

new juxtaposed compositions shift energy,

allow access to surprise discoveries

that inspire and uplift heart,

simple as moving furniture around

switching bed and writing couch,

now looking outside when penning

day's channeled offering of poetry,

'change' is definitive act that

reframes worldview, births subtle emergence

when opening eyes in morning

sleeping opposite side of mattress,

getting up, stumbling in darkness

needing to remind my whereabouts,

memories surface of Scottish travel

and myriad 'B&Bs' stayed at

sparking wanderlust again for 'Unknown',

what awaits in future adventures

I'll choose in precious lifetime

while practicing transformative playful wonder

with each original rearrangement conjured.

Just Start

Beginning of my outside shower built before going to Scotland in 2006.

Just Start

4/23/11

So much awaits human evolution,

and mine for that matter,

every 'territorial aspect' needs introspection

to rethink value of retaining,

but through lens peering future

based on highest dream imagined

using old 'form follows function'

when looking at continued worthiness,

whether piece of furniture, clothes,

music, resources I've collected, tools,

material objects, knick knacks, guitars,

all adding to creature comforts

the pleasure of opportunities bring,

what if there's potential 'abroad'

thinking 'rent' could offset costs,

then diagnostic guidelines shift radically

where lifestyle I'm used to

needs improvement, like new bathroom,

fence for privacy, deer,

add on an enclosed stairway,

plus build decks in back,

perhaps carport and firewood shed,

also blazing internet would help,

while workshop becomes storage space

for personal goods I'll keep

after process I just start.

Breakthrough

Home run swing practice on stuffed duffle bag in workshop which led to 'real deal' recently.

(photo by Art Durand Photography)

Breakthrough

4/22/11

Sometimes, if lucky,

persevering, in efforts

toward spoken dream,

life finds alignment

with past intention

soul has commandeered

through changing terrain

surface consciousness attends,

aware of mundane

little 'must do's'

in cogged society,

everything having 'place'

to keep chaos

ordinary and orderly,

minimizing big surprises

that unexpectedly happen

as hoped for

bringing pure delight

due to rarity

of experienced fruition,

which spurs wonderment

asking the question,

'What else awaits

hidden in Unknown

germinating to become

my next breakthrough?'

In Service

'I AM'!

(photo by Art Durand Photography)

In Service

4/21/11

Watched 'I AM' at matinee movie

that reinforced physical reality's interconnected nature

known forever by indigenous Earth tribes

now being 'proven' in scientific community

where even our smallest heart's delight

reverberates out to influence others nearby

then ripples even farther into world

reiterating 'butterfly wings, weather effect' hypothesis

tying all of Creation intricately together,

wherein living my individual microscopic routines

I influence overall direction of humanity

by simply raising positive emotional vibrations

while interacting with people, pets, plants,

remembering the teeming aliveness Existence is,

and on macro level of 'civilization'

what work-play contribution to 'whole'

needs to coincide with 'love, cooperation',

reaffirming mankind's essential ingredients for survival

as species, which embraces 'true nature'

not only of humans, but everything,

exposing lies, psychological sickness of leaders

who promote 'dog eat dog' paradigm

within business, government, religion 'ad nauseum',

cultivating 'diseased' separation as social norm

so essential to heal, treat daily

in service, through thought, word, action.

Beyond Explanation

Morning 'dragon's breath' seeping up valleys, over ridges, from fog laden Monterey Bay.

(Photo from Rodeo Gulch Road around corner from my home.)

Beyond Explanation

4/20/11

Mankind tries to grasp world,

understand Universe, through empirical proof

when pursuing 'power over' knowledge

thinking to wrestle complete control

from those connected to 'Mystery'

who live in 'unprovable' realms

freely accepting that miracles dominate

every component in amazing Existence

without needing to know how,

just trusting there are principals,

rhythms, phenomenon that are present

which work to support 'Creation',

the ever changing Infinite juxtapositions

that happen behind scenes, unheralded,

unrecognized, mostly taken for granted

as 'civilization' searches for security

in unpredictable, volatile, absurd reality,

making for insane human constructs

like war, Wall Street, capitalism,

institutionalized education, laws, social 'norms'

to keep chaos somehow orderly

by curtailing individual freedom, diversity,

so business, government promote homogenization,

consumerism, religions dictate moral righteousness,

while humans forget 'true nature',

'magically incarnate souls' beyond explanation.

Germinating

Claiming my life with a big 'YES!' at Seabright Beach, Santa Cruz, California.

(photo by Art Durand Photography)

Germinating

4/19/11

I like to think there's a 'Destiny

of highest calling.' that waits

amid millions of other scenarios,

each one worthy of my inhabitation

in diverse Existence supplying opportunities

dependent my 'choice point' decisions,

and if I pay close enough attention

to my inner intuitive sensibilities

while parading myriad 'dream seeds'

upon the screen of my consciousness,

then 'grandest' possibility will shine forth

for me to recognize as 'ultimate' direction

even when fear of failure and difficulties surface,

yet are outweighed by visions of Divine fruition,

whereupon my 'Soul' sends resounding 'YES!'

into the ethers of 'All Potential'

putting 'Universe' immediately to work

aligning material and spiritual realities

which place me in middle, straddling worlds

as author of unpredictable personal story,

part fairy tale future conjured from 'behind veil'

plus historical non-fiction as physical world plays out,

each coloring unique 'masterpiece' journey

only I could have chosen, signed up for,

realizing lessons learned from past challenges

along life path are germinating my future.

Surrender

Absurd 'tri-cycle' pulling a trailer, encountered at campground near Ring of Kerry, Ireland.

Surrender

4/18/11

I give in to not knowing

much about the world, human nature,

that I always have more to understand

because of my limited perspective,

there's acceptance I've come up short,

will be disliked and judged harshly

for trespasses as I learn, grow,

just as I've disagreed mightily

in youth with war, capitalism, greed,

still do, yet they seemingly persist unabated,

somehow I can embrace this 'Existence'

and the absurdity of it making no sense

through my purely mental comprehension

all the while breathing into painfulness

as a traumatized, dysfunctional 'civilization'

struggles to rise above 'base' emotions

firing off reactive, impulsive vengeance,

inside me is an equanimous Buddha temperament

smiling and laughing at life's unfoldment

so surprising in diversity and interconnection,

reminding me, when I dare to stop,

reflect, look deeply inside 'Sacred Dream',

of continually overflowing magic, miracle

we all inhabit, share, are made of,

which bestows playful power for influencing

each moment after surrender to 'Unknown'.

Every Person

Ian Scofield, a publisher who became my best friend in Scotland during winter of 2006-07.

Isle of Mull, Scotland

Every Person

4/16/11

It's a refreshing change

to take notice of surroundings

as if in a foreign country,

then try new restaurant pub

choosing food not usually ordered,

or beer others are drinking at bar

while striking up conversations

by asking question of patrons

on right, left, watching ballgame,

commenting on New Zealand accent

that led to travel talk

comparing his homeland to Scotland,

hearing of hitch-hiking adventures

visiting places I'd love to see

like Scandinavia, the Alps, Europe,

reminded again of the stories

each individual holds inside,

beyond the usual self-talk rut

our daily work routine produces

kept mostly as private domain

not wanting to be embarrassed,

judged, for less than 'proper' thoughts

deemed beneath image we cultivate

in world that values conformity,

instead of the unique character,

sensibilities, and view of every person.

Sustained Inspiration

Walking in a channel between islands as the lowering tide draws the water out completely.

Isle of Mull, Scotland

Sustained Inspiration

4/14/11

Ideas fill the world

and new ones threaten

those using 'reptilian' brain

engaged in survival mode,

the thinking surrounding 'trauma'

of which there's plenty

as politicians, nations, businesses,

vy for economic foothold

on sinking capitalist ship

injecting fear into everyone,

yet many individuals rebel

by raising vibratory consciousness,

ushering 'love' as antidote

which initiates safety net

necessary to heal past

for stuck, 'dis-eased' society,

being 'present' in moment

while inviting 'different' experiences

that counter 'dysfunctional' programming,

giving rise to 'possibility'

future dreams hold 'promise',

can be brought 'alive'

if we opened ourselves

toward believing 'all potential'

awaits 'soul actualization', catalyzing

sustained inspiration willfully lived.

Flurry

Snow covered 'Mt. Bache', aka. 'Loma Prieta', using telephoto lens from my workshop roof.

Flurry

4/13/11

Snow still flies in Shasta

as Santa Cruz catches tail

of stormy weather, cold rain,

Mother Nature is extremely busy

shifting seasons far and wide

while Earth searches for equilibrium

trying to assimilate the changes

mankind renders to Her environment,

sucking out bodily fluids, resources,

then manipulating them to 'burn'

for energy, spewing polluting by-product

residuals into air, water, land,

which is constant profitable activity

sanctioned in unequal 'capitalist' world

where few win, many lose,

(really everyone's loss in end)

creating 'society' that rapes, pillages,

does not stop to meditate

on the trajectory set upon,

only thinking of today's list

filled by needs, wanton desires,

while keeping it's head down

afraid 'system' could be next

demise that Fate will pick,

if desperate efforts aren't taken

to sustain flurry of 'greed'.

Wear Down

Most of Mom's grandchildren who lovingly witness her aging plus their parents getting older.

Wear Down

4/12/11

It's natural cycle

pervading all territories

encompassing miraculous Existence,

though less magical

in human minds

when things change

through old age

as parts falter,

fail, deliver painful

suffering to many

after 'prime' passes,

moving into acceptance

with new depths

while 'witnesses' bear

ache in heart

for parent, friend,

lover, acquaintance, pet

who is slipping

toward final stages

of 'Earth dance',

everyone feeling 'gravity',

how vulnerably frail,

transient, life becomes,

always is underneath,

revealed poignantly whenever

we wear down.

Patterns

12th century '8 point' Celtic pattern on tomb cover for Scottish knight.

Isle of Iona, Scotland

Patterns

4/11/11

All civilization is an accumulation

of designs that preceded us,

or at least bits, pieces

our ancestors developed over centuries

through genetics, culture and thought

diversifying as environment, society demanded,

trying new states of consciousness

realizing problems necessitate original approach

born from intuition, and reflection

outside of 'normally' accepted perceptions,

which take courage to implement

if 'ignorant' masses stubbornly refuse

inevitable change while there's 'choice',

not wanting disruption to comforts

insidiously robbing them of aliveness,

while feasting on entitlement, arrogance,

hedonism, gluttony, devouring possibilities, resources,

or improvement that revitalizes interactions

with partners family, friends, strangers,

caught in 'sound bite' matrix

repeating 'talkshow wisdom' until rooted

as truth in electoral psyche

pitting 'one against the other'

in familiar wrong, right tension

humanity's judgmental mantra, minus discernment

needed to dissolve obsolete patterns.

Spring Cleaning

'Homestead' in the Lake Country of England. Spring 2005 motorcycle visit to Patterdale.

Spring Cleaning

4/9/11

The dusty forgotten corners

overlooked during winter's siege

announce themselves in sun,

carrying dull gray energy

from not being seen,

touched, imbibed with value

through pleasure of appreciation,

most everything needs revival

whether kept, given away,

recycled, sold or discarded

though latter is obsolete

as waste dumps overflow,

it is molting process

which becomes expansive bursting

when 'virginity' generates willingness

to revisit and review

all that came before,

discovering what blocks original

birthing in this moment

forward, vacating old dreams

while assembling accumulated resources

deemed necessary in future,

making inner, outer space

for surprise synchronistic synergy

promised each brilliant dawn,

inspiring another Spring cleaning.

Spell

A 'healing well' near the east coast of Wales.

Spell

4/8/11

We all have influence

on society, it's inhabitants,

dependent our 'showing up'

in any given moment,

through thoughts, word, action,

how 'present' humans are

during 'one on one'

relationship at grocery store,

baseball games, work, concerts,

evermore as friends, lovers,

family who care deeply

about cause, effect outcomes,

whether positive or negative,

compassionate toward another's suffering

in world community partnership,

everyone taking personal responsibility

for residue on path

of interactions we travel,

it is no mystery

that everyone is related,

each containing unique power

and energy to cast

out demons who harm,

while conjuring different possibilities

as prayers that heal

implementing 'spell' for Unity.

Whether

Circus tent that housed 'Cavalia', showcasing the relationship between horse and humans.

Whether

4/7/11

Like 'weather', so often unpredictable,

people will try controlling hand

at the occasional correct forecast

to experience sense of power

as reassurance in mysterious world,

and if percentage favors 'right'

most folks will feel secure,

start building a foundational philosophy

on a 'less wrong' perspective,

still there's ever changing aspects

that threaten the status quo

in politics, relationship, education, physics,

where what was once true

morphs into decidedly different understanding,

though many tow same line

not really questioning their dogma

without entertaining in the mind

possibility anything needs new adaptation,

usually skirting issues with theatrics

creating sideshow to distract concerns,

turning any debate into circus

while 'attention deficit disorder' prevails

confusing everyone about effective course,

left to wonder out loud

'Is Existence miracle or madness?'

or whether there's myriad alternatives.

To Myself

Playing guitar at 'Grace and Michael's' house years ago during a party.

To Myself

4/6/11

Tonight, an evening home alone

as spring activities are accelerating

after work of extracurricular nature,

which I enjoy yet important

new dreams are calling me

that ask for concerted effort

in gestation and planning process

if birthing is to happen,

like first trimester of pregnancy

where variables could prematurely abort

grand manifestation before it forms

so secrets are kept conspiratorially

until seeds are securely rooted,

even then, shared with few

using discernment to decide who

while visions of possibilities unfold,

it is a nurturing exercise

resourcing ingredients for stem, blossom,

fruit, as time reveals intangibles

characteristically unique through each stage

bringing surprise to unfurling design,

to become living artistic endeavor

told as tale in future

showing evidence of creative force,

insight, courage, will, and love

when being true to myself.

In Hindsight

'Geez, you'd think I would have figured it out earlier.'

(photo by Art Durand Photography)

In Hindsight

4/5/11

Sometimes I don't understand

why something hasn't manifested

no matter my approach,

then later, further downline

surprising new information arrives

around sensibility of plan

hoping to be implemented,

which felt like 'push'

without any synchronizing signs

affirming 'state of grace'

by ease and flow

or beauty of creation

seemingly flying from fingertips,

and its is reassuring

to think there's 'Intelligence'

working on greater scale

than ego driven consciousness

often frustrated by events

not going 'my way',

as if 'Supreme Power'

is individual's sanctioned domain

whenever molding physical reality

into whatever one 'wants',

devoid of paying attention

interrelated 'Life dance' until

humorously revealed in hindsight.

Traumatized

The remains of a fishing village residents were 'severed' from during the 'Clearances'.

Isle of Mull, Scotland

Traumatized

4/4/11

From my radio interview yesterday

and '60 Minutes' television program

came realization we're all wounded,

have been since human beginning,

more so as 'civilization' expanded

using slavery, war, power over

to make gains in 'wealth',

yet creating 'poverty of spirit'

where 'shock' became the norm

infecting emotions and thinking capacity,

specifically what thoughts were entertained

around repetitive 'probable' negative outcome

when wanting to break chains,

heal the 'severing' from 'wholeness'

with it's vaguely understood principals

buried beneath rubbled 'common sense',

fractured by rape of Earth,

the feminine, dismissing caring elements

while hardhearted diseased men dominated

making people adapt or die,

this legacy still persists today

though it's base is disintegrating

the more people embrace 'Oneness'

witnessing shared miracle of Life,

finding safety in vulnerable nurturing

as traumatized individuals are championed.

Correct Timing

'Homerun Stewart' timing swing to hit slow pitched softball.

Correct Timing

4/2/11

Is there such a thing,

whether we hurry or not

trying to keep set appointment

with destiny as if timetable,

or fate, in preordained universe,

feeling satisfied when meeting agreements

and demands set in place

according to preconceived best scenario

that can often run show

using 'have to', 'should', 'must',

as motivational whip for perseverance,

somehow 'assuming' we possess knowledge

which overrides ever changing circumstances

thinking 'good fortune' will end

if certain goals aren't accomplished

in order of scheduled completion,

filled with expectations, success, failure,

continuous measurement of 'job' progress

taking precedence over balanced living,

turning exciting dream into nightmare

where creative freedom becomes drudgery

expelling 'playful adventure' from picture,

instead of sensing ease, flow,

what brings enjoyment when diagnosing

how variables present in moment

influence 'correct timing' each day.

Best Intentions

Softball team photo from September 2004.

(I'm kneeling, brother Keith to my right, brother Doug over my left shoulder)

Best Intentions

4/1/11

Thoughts are variable,

can direct actions

of response, reaction

in the moment,

plus they influence

each future encounter

when affirming approach,

how I'll handle

what is familiar

using new angle,

like playing softball,

choosing less competitiveness

becomes more fun

as guiding principle,

perceiving similar situations

with youthful eyes

that don't reference

any prior experience,

whether success, failure

according to tradition,

instead feeling joy

for being able

to recreate 'game',

dismiss outdated 'programming',

which symbolizes life

embodying best intentions.

Frequency

Art Durand stretching after mediation with 'Bryon Kitty' overlooking my 'original' garden.

Frequency

3/31/11

Too much of good thing

can diminish the experience

especially if repeated habitually

without customization or surprise

becoming mind numbing mantra,

like dream often spoken

that dissipates, loses energy,

as ego gets attached

to specific expected outcome

losing touch with unique

appreciation of different moments,

people 'repeat' for security

going back to familiar

pulling 'past' into equation

then judge good, bad,

begin worrying about results

comparing to 'what was',

we all need pause,

distance, for gestating changes

within outer, inner worlds

while consciousness evolves discovering

virgin territory, original thoughts

which spark renewed passion

when witnessing remarkable potential

through clean unfiltered senses,

forever raising vibrational frequency.