Try Again

Moving energy at Seabright Beach, Santa Cruz, California.

(photo by Art Durand Photography)

Try Again

1/31/11

It's all I can ever do

upon remembering yesterday's disappointment,

or some hole I've dug for myself,

whether debt with soaring interest rates,

work that's turned into unexpected struggle,

relationship shifting from 'choice point'

agreed upon, but not enthusiastically so,

where again I look within, without,

take stock of my accumulated predicament

placing discerning value on efforts,

witness how I've let ball drop

on dreams, in territories thought potent

as part of destined master plan,

while holding myself responsible, accountable,

with no one else to blame,

recognizing personal nature and patterns,

how in striving for spiritual life

of 'first peace' filled by equanimity

that I've fallen into complacent malaise,

forgetting my ancestry and kingly duties,

to live excitedly inspired life, fruitfully creative,

unwilling to ever entertain emotional defeat,

give up on my promise and potency,

be apathetic about inner, outer domain,

instead, releasing anger, I recommit 'Self' to renew efforts,

courageously try again, awaken, and refine my sensibilities.