Changing Values

Toasting with a wine glass I caught after accidently breaking it's stem.

Changing Values

12/30/10

It's part of 'Great Turning'

where people stop and reconsider

what's priority in life now,

not just presently this day

but in year, or decade

because importance shifts with age,

often hard for youthful understanding

when looking at elder's choices,

less gregarious perhaps, more focused

toward a few life dreams

instead of many imagined before,

as thoughts around dying legacy

surface to influence energy output,

helping decide worthiness of efforts,

aliveness, any pursuit brings individual

and how community is effected,

remembering there's balance to maintain,

all work and no play

doesn't support one's changing values.

Planting Seeds

My raised garden beds made of old redwood deck boards.

Planting Seeds

12/29/10

Yesterday before the rains came

I worked on garden beds

adding soil, compost with worms,

then sowed chard, beets, carrots,

lettuce, peas, leaving two fallow,

put chicken wire over top

to keep birds, cat out,

guarding potential for the future

and now in new 'den',

the wee trailer transformed from

guest room and Art's quarters,

there's 'little child' curiosity, excitement,

about what will creatively transpire

in this year's coming adventures

born from structure, disciplined strictness,

of continually feeding my soul

by writing in dark morning,

anticipating first light and sunrise

while planting seeds on paper.

On With It

My evolving 'den' which was used as the 'guest room' in the 8x12 trailer.

On With It

12/28/10

Time to take sharp aim,

direct action toward what calls

deemed important beyond selfish scope

of life's mundane survival efforts,

desire for committed intimate relationship,

or anything else as scapegoat

that serves long held procrastination,

having had writing ideas forever

about stories of future world

which essentially works for everyone,

also commentary on human insanity,

books about acquiring 'soul authority',

'earth wisdom', aimed toward youth,

plus finishing my 'Returners' novel,

designing questionnaires for 'personal diagnosis',

while penning poetry for publication,

including recollections around Spitzer family,

and tales depicting my trail

after getting on with it.

Afterward

My constant companion Wing, at home in the woods.

Afterward

12/27/10

Christmas can stir many emotions

igniting highs of nurturing joy

watching young and old interact,

be enthused, playful, often surprised

by words uttered, affection displayed,

as everyone smiles and laughs,

a peak experience in contrast

to regular less populated days,

where sharing with family, friends,

can be few, far between,

which stands out in hindsight

when thinking about my interactions,

communication, giving, instigated by me,

how little I reach out,

keep updated by frequent contact

with those professing love for,

while living singularly, only animals

are daily companionship to exchange

love for each other afterward.

Here Again

Friends and acquaintances at my February 2007 'farewell' party.

Kintra Community Hall, Isle of Mull, Scotland

Here Again

12/25/10

Another cycle rounds the turn

on straightaway to year's finish

and so much has transpired

as I think of past,

different Christmas holidays over decades

enjoyed with many loved ones,

some now in spirit world

others rarely seen, conversed with,

yet all have imprinted me

leaving mark in joyous heart

from my splendid good fortune

to be born 'Kevin Spitzer'

experiencing brother, sisters, and parents

while growing older, becoming man,

discovering extended family in friends,

acquaintances, girlfriends, wives, mutually blessed

in sharing life's fleeting moments

exchanging gifts of smiles, laughter,

hugs, best wishes here again.

At Peace

Lone sailboat at dusk on Monterey Bay. Seabright Beach, Santa Cruz, California

At Peace

12/24/10

This time of year

provokes most to contemplate

one's place in Universe,

how life's being lived,

what isn't working now,

did in past year,

plus dreams of future,

hopefully through this peering

there comes an understanding

that emotional turmoil informs

about what's greatly treasured,

is the leading thread

to core soul values

underneath distressed ego antics,

wanting, needing energy expression,

bottled up or distorted

from insane societal consumerism

trying to make sense,

recognizing craziness can direct

toward living at peace.

The Dawning

The Sun cresting eastern horizon from my ridge top home through 'dragon's breath'.

The Dawning

12/23/10

Especially during long winter nights

first light takes forever coming,

with more patience for Sun

to peek horizon, reveal brilliance,

so it is with wisdom,

the great lessons we learn

by being with, moving from

personal darkness, less than admirable

ways imbedded in our past

needing essential healing, soul discernment

aware of myriad 'security' threats

which often disrupt status quo,

recognizing change, no matter investment,

pointing toward new surprising direction

born of Unknown, without expectation,

while opening to wide range

of blazing life force energy,

playful, free, creative, vibrant, spirited,

that acknowledges the dawning Infinite.

Ideas

Capitola Wharf and New Brighton Beach 'cement ship' in background pierced by a rainbow.

Ideas

12/22/10

Humans think they know best,

can solve problems at anytime

believing they're masters of destiny,

ably figuring, reconfiguring as needed

though life is magnificently willful,

unpredictable, railing against labels, boxes

trying to pigeonhole omnipotent 'Source',

this 'Force' of omnipresent diversity

that's beyond control, barely manageable,

and only when letting go

of expectations societal norms dictate,

then fresh insights can emerge

original ways of approaching Existence

without binds from traditional perspective,

ingenious thought can become difficult

dodging yesterday's land mine obstacles,

while emotions confuse, then clarify,

shine light on brilliant jewels

waiting in darkness, as ideas.

End, Beginning

'Lord of the Isles' castle ruins at low tide with rainbow.

Isle of Mull, Scotland

End, Beginning

12/21/10

One of my favorite days,

as Winter Solstice reminds me

that seed of great light

is encased within darkest days,

even as death finds everything,

everyone, life continues on unabated,

so it is with hope,

dreams of future possibilities, potential,

even in most forlorn circumstances

when what's cherished begins disintegrating,

or full out torn asunder,

beneath the rubble are jewels

of lessons bequeathing amazing powers

bringing ability to peer emptiness,

feel unencumbered soul's worthy direction

inspired by world of miracle,

hearing voice of Source guiding,

encouraging, one more step forward,

embracing end, beginning day anew.

Step By Step

The over 5,000 year old legacy of the Callanish Stones in the West Hebrides.

Isle of Lewis, Scotland

Step By Step

12/20/10

It's 'keep going' perseverance

that accomplishes any dream,

whether large, small increments

with rest between sprints

of action or thought,

there's the continual revisiting

which furthers manifestation process,

often a lonely journey

even though 'muse' joins

helping articulate your artistry,

whatever unique creation awaits

one's intention toward legacy,

the beauty we'll leave

when all is done,

until then daily attention

opens our intuitive awareness,

visual, auditory, kinesthetic senses,

inspiring decision making strategy

occurring step by step.

Renewed Alignment

Completing a round of 'tslagi' in my 'medicine wheel'.

(photo by Art Durand Photography)

Renewed Alignment

12/18/10

Life is forever this

in world of change,

as experiences effect growth

while information disrupts peace,

feelings ignite as messenger

for continuing, stopping, adapting,

whichever rings presently true

understanding the temporary nature

of any stand taken,

and there is Essence

at core of 'being'

that is sober witness,

calling 'lost nomad' home

to rediscover the marvel

surrounding one's miraculous Existence,

through awe, wonder, curiosity,

remembering the sacred attributes

endowed in all individuals

when embracing renewed alignment.

Every Path

My 'motorcycle course' in northwest Scotland, Sept. 2006

Every Path

12/16/10

No matter the choices made

putting us on particular course

any life direction can challenge

throwing us into virgin territory

even if similar to prior,

but now older, hopefully wiser,

we adjust differently to situations

depending feelings of comfort, discomfort,

deciding what's acceptable or not,

how messy life can be

before taking stand, saying 'Enough!',

using disruptions as message signal

though interpretatively up for grabs,

wondering if experience enriches soul

supporting movement toward growth, evolution,

rather than emotional roller coaster

blocking access to clear action

on any number of fronts

every path will undoubtedly traverse.

Focused Awareness

Concentrating while using a circular saw on home project.

(photo by Art Durand photography)

Focused Awareness

12/15/10

Consciousness is presence,

what grabs attention

is but object,

appealing to subject's

senses becoming thoughts,

yet there's 'soul'

at our core,

observer behind all

individual ego antics,

everything we value,

judge good, bad ...

it's 'deep seat'

of 'true Self'

living without desire,

need, effort, intent,

simply witnessing mind,

emotions, world, life

that engages Mystery

within focused awareness.

Move Forward

Storm brewing above Monterey Bay, Santa Cruz, California.

Move Forward

12/14/10

There's no other alternative really

when day before went badly

as life served up lemons,

shockingly so in the moment,

of course 'great character builder'

though I have enough already,

it's time to find humor,

make light of 'perfect storm'

that comes every so often

testing my foundational strength, integrity,

the principals I readily espouse

while breathing into what's needed

without blame against self, others,

more like taking 100% responsibility

trusting perfection of 'what is',

knowing lessons will be revealed

bestowing wisdom to balance expense,

efforts, when righting ship's course

so projects can move forward.

New Creations

Great friend Art Durand ready to leave on adventurous 6 month photographic road trip.

New Creations

12/13/10

Good buddy Art is gone,

off land, out of trailer,

on road to great adventure

inhabiting what's always been dream,

perfect timing for his rhythms,

like magnificent painting, sculpture, music,

or book written by author,

it's the lead up to

actual manifestation that takes time,

stewing in one's poetic juices

while bits, pieces, get organized

in mind, body, heart, soul

becoming a synergistic alchemical mix

that catalyzes energy, musters courage,

clears pathway for 'the muse'

who takes artist beyond reasoning

into realm of synchronistic magic,

miracle, destiny none could predict,

where new creations show up.

So It Is

Road signs in England near my friend Mark Jeffery's home.

So It Is

12/12/10

Life gives me clues

as to what's next,

or ideas for handling

shifts, changes, living offers

in service toward growth,

if I pay attention,

will look for message

within seemingly disparate signs,

sometimes just simple affirmation

bearing grand wise council,

like today on radio

listening Harijiwan Khalsa speak

about kundalini system, chakras,

stating acronym for G.O.D.

being 'Generation, Organization, Destruction'

which startled in simplicity,

a plainly stated equation

of stripped down reality,

so it is, everywhere.

Who Knows

Taking in Monterey Bay at Seabright Beach, Santa Cruz, California.

(photo by Art Durand Photography)

Who Knows

12/10/10

Life's nothing but surprises,

and depending early childhood

plus experiences becoming adult

I can either welcome

or fear what's next,

discerning it's friendly universe

full of magic, miracle,

where things 'work out',

instead of bitter reality

with constant disappointment, sadness,

depressed by world events,

personal striving and loss,

always my personal choice

when entertaining thoughts with

outlook of curiosity, adventure,

upon waking each morning,

yet it takes courage

to embrace daily insecurities,

trusting one's wise soul

who knows, is, secure.

Domain

Tomb slabs for 'knights' buried on the Isle of Iona, Scotland.

Domain

12/9/10

It's not age but wisdom

that make king or queen,

different from knight and lady,

prince, princess in youthful romance,

the 'life territory' to oversee

is sprawling, changing, grandly diverse,

demanding presence, deep compassionate understanding

of one's cause, effect influence,

able to respond as needed

without negative knee jerk reaction

when jumping to sudden conclusions

about interpreted events in kingdom,

where brash declarations create war

within self, allies, those loved,

instead take time, trust process,

listen concerns of those involved,

stay centered, balanced, on purpose,

rule the moment with soul,

love, claim royal heritage as

divine monarch of personal domain.

I'm Willing

Playing field of the 2010 World Champion San Francisco Giants at AT&T Park.

I'm Willing

12/8/10

In caring for myself daily,

while aware of inner workings

through this practice called 'writing',

there's discernment between 'being' states

and thoughts, feelings inhabiting each,

to some, overboard self absorption

contemplating my belly button infinitude,

yet in hindsight it reveals

choices made on road traveled

where in attempting to rescue

ineptness within life's playing field

I look to extract wisdom,

discover underlying seeds of sanity

based on what 'soul' dictates,

thus garnering essential great understanding

of what's really important here,

now, influencing choices for balance,

vitality, available as wise council

I'm willing to courageously follow.

Paradoxically

Daren Commons and I after work on 3rd story water tower 'top', later 'craned' into place.

Lakeside Organic Farm, Watsonville. 2007

Paradoxically

12/7/10

Intuition runs counter mind's intellect,

often what makes sound reasoning

doesn't manifest in desired results,

overwhelmed by business ... work harder,

faster, continually without taking break,

where actually slowing, contemplating course,

alleviates mistakes, dissolves imagined urgency,

finds graceful path with balance,

a turtle and hare tale,

instead of pressing for answers

being made miserable by indecision,

step back, doing something else

allows for solution to enter,

and within intimate relationship struggles

when one, both, aren't satisfied

it's time to please self,

revisit own individually important pursuits

mysteriously expanding ability for more

appreciation, clarity, love, experiencing values,

paradoxically bringing a couple closer.

Transparent

Clear view while writing from my 'croft' in the little village of Kintra.

Isle of Mull, Scotland

Transparent

12/6/10

I will not withhold

what courses through mind

effecting my heart, soul,

rather greet experiences authentically

revealing this moment's truth

courageously, letting chips fall,

remembering things change constantly,

and I do also

depending health and balance,

that 'choice' is mine

within all life territories,

some I've made badly,

run by fear, protectionism,

thinking safety is ultimate

though it contracts, deadens

attention to moving energies,

inward and outward opportunities

for expanding beyond mundane

through transformation's transparent veil.

When

Scottish hunter from days gone by with his canine companions.

When

12/5/10

It takes courage to act

on what's true for soul,

the intuition feelings point toward

though I often pull trigger

with false bravado as protection

thinking first strike wins fights,

where if not, I'm vulnerable

to mind persuading me otherwise

or heart stops to reconsider

then I'm again in muck,

uncertain, unclear, distracted by circumstance,

with confused energy muddling forth,

I'd much rather make stand

thinking I'm defending vitality, integrity,

even if later shown mistaken,

never so, as teaching experiences

that elucidate bring valued wisdom,

understanding of my makeup, others,

when claiming what's genuine now.

Loose Ends

Weaving loom at Ardalanish Organic Farm.

Isle of Mull, Scotland

Loose Ends

12/4/10

Life's full of them

demanding 'to do' list,

vision board, flow chart

for left brained folk,

in degree everyone is,

there's right side also

bringing in artistic sensibilities

more intuitive through feelings,

each person claims personality

within their unique matrix

combining ego and Soul,

influenced within omnipotent Source

which continually supplies threads

to weave rare tapestry

as 'creator' so original

you'll never be duplicated,

because inhabited 'inner universe'

of past, present, future

bears infinite possibility, potential,

loose ends, imitating stars.

Pace

Scottish 'rush hour' near village of Kintra I called home during fall/winter of 2006/2007.

Isle of Mull, Scotland.

Pace

12/3/10

Everyone has own rhythms,

some fixed, others mutable,

all fluctuating in degree

depending circumstance, emotional state,

past history of response,

people get categorized energetically

slow moving, or quick,

when moving one's body

at work, playing sports,

dancing, or around home,

often bringing interpretive labels

meant to denote intellect,

abilities, internal drive, competence,

from onlooker using filters

of society, family upbringing,

past experiences, becoming judgment

determining attractiveness or not,

forgetting to accept perfect

pace of 'what is'.

Indomitable

Winter view from one of many small chapel graveyards on Isle of Mull, Scotland.

Indomitable

12/1/10

Life force is this

from birth to death

where even our remains

feed next generative cycle,

and supposed 'primitive' societies

understood 'no separation' interconnectedness,

but our modern world

run by 'soulless' mind

makes judgments, distinctions everywhere

that fracture rightful place

of humans in 'hoop',

this 'circle' called co-existence

which needs healing now,

opportunities abound in individuals

for uniting mind, body,

spirit, emotion through love,

joy, beauty, integrated goodness,

then directing influence beyond

'Self' through indomitable 'Soul'.

Diligence

Friend and Scottish storyteller, Scott Corrigan, at old high hill 'dun'.

' Fort' near Kilmartin, Scotland

Diligence

11/30/10

This is persevering attitude

for all life's territories,

it means bringing presence

of 'can, will do'

to essential human needs,

plus inspiring extraneous desires

catalyzing many mysterious ingredients

outside confines of homogenization,

unique to each person

we embody our 'brand',

skills, talents known by,

proud of at death,

because of indomitable effort

we deemed personally important

became pact with 'soul'

where other activities paled,

following thread into Unknown

one foot after another

with diligence beyond measure.