Lochbuie coast, Isle of Mull, Scotland

Floating

2/26/09

This malaise feels like clouds

no real substance or traction

thoughts flow through, disappear,

some bring tears, a foggy rain,

and I'm dissipated inside them

up in the sky, looking down,

detached somehow from the physical

able to view long, past years,

see my present moment inertia

while looking for glimpse of future,

vague, obscured by fear, doubts,

wondering how it will play out

am reminded my responsibility

to choose, to begin, again, again,

with every breath and emotion,

trying to land back in this world

after having dreamt unrealistically,

or so it appears in the results,

where now I'm rebuilding trust

of myself, my desires, my passion,

needing to be affirmed, grounded,

in anything that is worthy,

smacks of being real, authentic,

more than Spirit witnessing itself,

as me, floating in All Potential.

Flower outside Melba's house

Fear and Longing

2/25/09

Security is really an illusion of sorts

though a feeling I've experienced at times

when it comes to work and finances

but more on the opposite end of spectrum

and in this economic upheaval, more so,

then there are emotions in relationship

as they churn in me, disrupt calm,

the peace I cultivate when alone,

able to keep my life manageable,

somewhat, even as discontent simmers

underneath the facade of, "I'm cool."

"I've got my act together." "I'm successful."

but a small or large occurrence can effect,

ignite a pool of inner worth questions

about what I'm doing here and now,

in every territory of my life it seems,

which usually brings vitality to a crawl

messing with how I think and process

becoming overly sensitive, judgmental,

needing to spill angst into this book

find some minor way to turn the tide

by being, doing, changing surroundings,

to witness I still have creative power, 

claiming again my unique 'self-authorship'

no matter when fear and longing erupt.

Step By Step

California rainbow

(photo by Art Durand Photography)

Step By Step

2/23/09

When it boils down to it

advances are made slowly,

in small increments it seems,

though there are occasional leaps

that often land us in territory

unfamiliar, disconcerting, feeling dislocated

from sensibilities that keep us grounded,

able to make sense, and embrace change,

call it reaching one's 'upper limit'

wholly unprepared for shifting tides,

the repercussions, running insecurities,

this is when we must go inward,

find some dependable inner knowing,

do the little things we are capable of

effecting in our life with noticeable acts

which carry sense of empowerment,

often seen as a new creation,

a reorganized home, projects done,

some departure from usual reality

as witness to progress moving somewhere,

and only your value of it matters

even if others judge you negatively

saying mistakes have been made,

or you are a loser at the core,

take heart, champion your own dreams

then consistently, step by step, live them.