Thursday, February 26, 2009

Lochbuie coast, Isle of Mull, Scotland


This malaise feels like clouds
no real substance or traction
thoughts flow through, disappear,
some bring tears, a foggy rain,
and I'm dissipated inside them
up in the sky, looking down,
detached somehow from the physical
able to view long, past years,
see my present moment inertia
while looking for glimpse of future,
vague, obscured by fear, doubts,
wondering how it will play out
am reminded my responsibility
to choose, to begin, again, again,
with every breath and emotion,
trying to land back in this world
after having dreamt unrealistically,
or so it appears in the results,
where now I'm rebuilding trust
of myself, my desires, my passion,
needing to be affirmed, grounded,
in anything that is worthy,
smacks of being real, authentic,
more than Spirit witnessing itself,
as me, floating in All Potential.
Flower outside Melba's house

Fear and Longing

Security is really an illusion of sorts
though a feeling I've experienced at times
when it comes to work and finances
but more on the opposite end of spectrum
and in this economic upheaval, more so,
then there are emotions in relationship
as they churn in me, disrupt calm,
the peace I cultivate when alone,
able to keep my life manageable,
somewhat, even as discontent simmers
underneath the facade of, "I'm cool."
"I've got my act together." "I'm successful."
but a small or large occurrence can effect,
ignite a pool of inner worth questions
about what I'm doing here and now,
in every territory of my life it seems,
which usually brings vitality to a crawl
messing with how I think and process
becoming overly sensitive, judgmental,
needing to spill angst into this book
find some minor way to turn the tide
by being, doing, changing surroundings,
to witness I still have creative power, 
claiming again my unique 'self-authorship'
no matter when fear and longing erupt.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Step By Step

California rainbow
(photo by Art Durand Photography)

Step By Step

When it boils down to it
advances are made slowly,
in small increments it seems,
though there are occasional leaps
that often land us in territory
unfamiliar, disconcerting, feeling dislocated
from sensibilities that keep us grounded,
able to make sense, and embrace change,
call it reaching one's 'upper limit'
wholly unprepared for shifting tides,
the repercussions, running insecurities,
this is when we must go inward,
find some dependable inner knowing,
do the little things we are capable of
effecting in our life with noticeable acts
which carry sense of empowerment,
often seen as a new creation,
a reorganized home, projects done,
some departure from usual reality
as witness to progress moving somewhere,
and only your value of it matters
even if others judge you negatively
saying mistakes have been made,
or you are a loser at the core,
take heart, champion your own dreams
then consistently, step by step, live them.