Flower outside Melba's house

Fear and Longing

2/25/09

Security is really an illusion of sorts

though a feeling I've experienced at times

when it comes to work and finances

but more on the opposite end of spectrum

and in this economic upheaval, more so,

then there are emotions in relationship

as they churn in me, disrupt calm,

the peace I cultivate when alone,

able to keep my life manageable,

somewhat, even as discontent simmers

underneath the facade of, "I'm cool."

"I've got my act together." "I'm successful."

but a small or large occurrence can effect,

ignite a pool of inner worth questions

about what I'm doing here and now,

in every territory of my life it seems,

which usually brings vitality to a crawl

messing with how I think and process

becoming overly sensitive, judgmental,

needing to spill angst into this book

find some minor way to turn the tide

by being, doing, changing surroundings,

to witness I still have creative power, 

claiming again my unique 'self-authorship'

no matter when fear and longing erupt.