Being Man

Baptized by the waters of life in Monterey Bay.

Santa Cruz, California

(photo by Art Durand Photography)

Being Man

10/30/10

A key has turned inside

to long buried treasure chest

holding sacred scrolls of transformation,

it has taken a lifetime

of digging through doubts, fears,

desires to be fully accepted,

heralded, for my unique characteristics

while society, peer pressure, shaped

creating less than authentic me,

and it's been selfish unraveling

that's revealed 'robes of distortion',

personas, my judgmental perfectionist tendency,

thoughts 'I am an island.',

many layers hiding heart, soul,

believing such until broken asunder

because my spirit refuses defeat,

will not die until expressed

in it's totality this lifespan,

finally joining great ancestral lineage

serving magnificently while being man.

Acceleration

On way to New Mexico from Crawford, Colorado.

Acceleration

10/29/10

There's increased vitality in me,

dare say a glowing vibrance

as if drinking magical liquid

from 'healing well' of Ancients,

it's an elixir, tonic, potion,

giving me mysterious alchemical powers

able to see life unveiled

for sheer miracle it is,

having no separation or boundaries

through all of Divine Existence

even as Creation births form

in every manner of diversity

incorporating elemental Earth, Water, Fire,

Air, and others as One,

creating this fluid Life river,

now witnessing the huge expanse

I share Living Essence with

seeing there are no obstacles

to acceleration of Soul's flight.

Soul Realm

Mid cutting my hair with Jani's son Luther before motorcycling England and Scotland.

St. Agnes, Cornwall, England. Spring 2004

Soul Realm

10/28/10

Cut my hair yesterday

as symbolic letting go

that relationship with partner

needs a particular manifestation

in how, when, where,

or any other arena,

really getting the fluidity

Mother Nature models daily,

life change is dependable,

living is a river

full of adventure, excitement,

when buoyed by love

for self, others, Creation,

plus 'truth that frees'

on simplest of terms

which opens surprise potency

understanding seed, blossom, fruit,

each of us unique,

unwilling to restrict anyone's

liberating 'soul realm' expression.

New Chapter

With fascial hair upon arrival in Kintra, Isle of Mull, Scotland. Sept-Feb 2006-2007

New Chapter

10/27/10

Each day begins another,

never same person twice

always something has changed

to lesser, greater degree,

hair grows, falls out,

original thoughts can enter

born from previous experience

just 24 hours ago,

Sun moves on horizon,

weather, work, people, health

arrive in different ways,

and sometimes from accumulated

life lessons, epiphanies happen

through slow revelatory transmission

arriving potently in stages,

where if practicing patience

plus diligent detailed awareness

a witnessed transformation occurs,

becoming new chapter lived.

Expansion

My favorite oak at end of ridge that provides 'tree swing' service.

(photo by Art Durand Photography)

Expansion

10/26/10

Life demands I open,

break through, dissolve layers

that keep me captured

in past spun web

tied with societal, familial,

worldly notions about interplay

between heart, soul, body,

mind, when relationship enters

running gamut of emotions,

thoughts, into chaotic cacophony

until I breathe, breathe,

release shoulders, fill chest,

tap into omnipresent Source,

Soul, feeling the Unknown

within each Sacred Moment

of now, now, next,

realizing I'm the 'chrysalis',

caterpillar, and butterfly on

journey of loving expansion.

Trajectory

Long winding road in the Lake Country part of England.

Trajectory

10/25/10

Again I wonder life's workings

leaving behind idea of 'knowing'

what's 'true' in certain terms

for me 'now', and future,

reminded how time changes things

when adding more insightful revelations,

I think I've secretly searched

ahead for long winding path

that could last into decades,

comparing my fits, starts efforts

toward less than grandiose dreams

to others' plans of retirement

with material and financial comforts,

but my deviant dissenter nature

mostly choose wild freedom instead

equating adrenalin surge as 'living'

and presently it feels opposite

where deep expansive 'soul peace'

supplies the trajectory revealing direction.

Into Me

Opening to waters of life. Monterey Bay at Santa Cruz, Calif.

(photo by Art Durand Photography)

Into Me

10/24/10

Something is happening inside

as possibilities bounce around

from thought to feeling,

trying on various scenarios

while imagining my future

with partner and children,

but mostly noticing expansion

created from the willingness

to entertain 'real love',

beyond society's sexual notions

of lust, longing, completion,

and it's decidedly different

than previous body states

because great believable ease

accompanies visioned life structure,

what I'd do daily

in service to family,

community, and larger world

doing all that's needed,

wanted, revealed into me.

At Home

My backyard a few years ago with 'medicine wheel' in forefront.

At Home

10/23/10

Called off work yesterday

as rains are coming

instead toiled on land

moving soil into beds,

prepping compost, improving order,

re-covered beams with plastic

also radial arm saw,

sliding glass doors, windows,

did laundry, organized shop

going through cabinets, cupboards,

redistributing, making more room

for art, future projects,

shared space with partner,

I walked around outside,

saw resources waiting use,

imagined new storage areas

as what wants built

leapt out, calling for

plans, action at home.

Service

At Celtic inspired chapel in Compton, Surrey, England, spring 2004.

Service

10/22/10

It's not about 'me'

is what 'soul' conveys

when viewing the magnitude

of this encompassing Universe,

though, yes, 'I'm' here

as singular embodied entity

with 'ego' and desires,

but only stepping stone

for humanity's great advance

toward a conscious evolution

promising Heaven on Earth,

after we learn process

that discerns the truth

whenever asking 'What's important,

needed?' for Great Turning,

inside oneself first, foremost,

ushering empowered connection within

out through larger world

while being of service.

Integration

With 'Tulku Orgyen Phuntsok' from Pema Kod 'hidden land' in India.

Integration

10/21/10

Life is about unifying

all the myriad aspects

of what 'humanness' means,

many find it easier

to keep input minimal

having control over 'messiness'

for semblance of sanity

'chopping wood, carrying water.',

perhaps monasteries house lightweights

who can't handle cacophony

born out of diversity,

the raucous creative energy

little 'love bundle' children

spill into mother's lap,

or challenges of intimacy

when newly activated lovers

willingly share comfort, discomfort,

while aligning chakras, balancing

kundalini through soul integration.

New Equilibrium

Standing in front of 'redwood round' with dated 'rings' showing history of the world.

(photo by high school friend Barbara Bradshaw)

Henry Cowell Redwoods, Felton, California

New Equilibrium

10/20/10

Whenever a powerful force

enters receptive static environment

there's cause/effect ripple

that undulates into more,

traveling out beyond perceptions

of time, past, future,

all the while influencing

gamut of concentric circles

like tree ring age

containing years of living,

every storm, sunny day

imbedded in cellular memory

becoming accumulated unique entity,

same when love enters

pressing myriad life energies

into clay of humans,

then opportunity to awaken,

open, expand, integrate change,

often catalyzes new equilibrium.

Disoriented

Falling into Monterey Bay at Seabright Beach.

(Photo by Art Durand Photography)

Disoriented

10/19/10

New circumstances can often threaten

one's inner 'first peace' equilibrium

if less than thoroughly rooted

in Soul connection to Source

as essential link with Cosmos

that gives 'disruption' proper perspective,

"Don't sweat the small stuff."

is remembered high school phrase

"And it's all small stuff.",

this enduring response rendered adjustment

which enabled a reeling in

toward sensible place within Universe,

reminding my temporary fleeting nature

easier to embrace through humor,

curiosity about disturbing mind friction

than endeavoring to control Life

spontaneously erupting into physical realm,

unveiling attitudes, opinions, images, beliefs

needing reflected upon when disoriented.

Rising

Climbing 'Ben Mor', the only 'monroe' (3,000 ft. or higher) on Isle of Mull, Scotland

Rising

10/18/10

Possibilities can percolate

when saying 'Yes!'

to any adventure

as unforeseen juxtapositions

leap into place,

thoughts once alien

find familiar groove

in mind's forefront

while dreams envisioned

start attracting resources,

those unique ingredients

wanting to be

assembled for joy's

natural catalyzing eruption

whenever taking action

toward anticipated goal,

so wonderfully aligned

with 'soul destiny'

enthusiasm keeps rising.

Layered Contradiction

Looking across layers of geology to Georgia O'Keefe 'Ghost Ranch' territory.

Abiquiu, New Mexico

Layered Contradiction

10/16/10

World's full of them,

more revealed each day

while old paradigm thinking

of linear left brain

bows to creative right,

where studies and polls

out to garner support

find counter intuitive results

that surprise and astonish,

proving again to 'assume'

turns 'ass-you-me',

bringing dissenters delightful incentive

for unwilling stasis acceptance

anticipating remarkable discoveries ahead

which will explode belief

around 'control equalling security',

plus 'exposed weakening fear

endangers intimacy, harmony, safety,'

as untruthful layered contradiction.

Portal Passage

Rock portal in arroyo basin next to the 'Land of Shining Stones'.

Abiquiu, New Mexico

Portal Passage

10/15/10

Life isn't really predictable

even moments from 'now'

feels preposterous when trying

to nail down specifics,

often easier naming negative

future 'don't want' list

as 'past' looms large

because sour results prevailed

leaving mind impacted, imprinted,

strewn with emotional debris

which blocks clear vision

toward horizon of dreams

waiting as potential destiny,

this electrically charged minefield

needs sweeping disarmament, defusing

any 'fear powered' circuits

when preparing Sacred Ground

for claiming expansive Love

after one's portal passage.

Compassion

Buddha statue in back yard holding white sage top.

Compassion

10/14/10

Called tree of Buddhism

all fruit flows from

'Bodhichitta', it's 'heart holding'

everyone as suffering souls

who need caring communities

of spiritually grounded individuals

to provide empathy, service,

for furthering each other

in strides toward enlightenment

with Buddha as model,

this attribute joins spirits

creating mass conscientious consciousness,

and if following 'precepts'

brings ultimate transformative potential,

focus, energy, and sensibilities

necessary for sustained peace,

realizing 'Another is myself.'

as living sentient creation

worthy of merciful compassion.

Yet Created

Corner of 'studio/workshop' where ideas become drawings for future creations.

Yet Created

10/13/10

This is what excites me

amid society's taking for granted

Nature, and our miraculous Existence,

that something new finds form

through sound, feeling, visual perceptions

as if from thin air,

it thrills me no end

each individual has stirring potential

for birth of joyous life

filled with their unique manifestations,

perhaps that's just my projection

because I enjoy cultivating change

by bringing ideas into reality,

what also sparks godlike abilities

is entering into intimate relationship

where two souls wax alchemical,

combine energy, sensibilities, heart, intellect,

which generates exponential powerful possibilities

yet created on Earthly plane.

Constant Adjustments

Diversity at a San Francisco Giant's baseball game.

Constant Adjustments

10/12/10

Generations of human beings

as ancestors and parents

have sacrificed, worked hard,

in desiring better existence

for those following footsteps

leaving life more manageably

dependable for future offspring

often in material wealth,

forgetting wisdom treasure chest

that struggle generously bequeaths

when peering beneath circumstance

to discover spiritual transmission

all of Creation suggests

through diversity and adaption,

imbibing freedom without mandate

though structural universal principles

apply to changing reality,

reminding underpinnings of Mystery

within daily constant adjustments.

On Purpose

Great friend Art Durand excited about finally putting his remodeled camper on his truck.

On Purpose

10/11/10

Luck comes from truthfulness,

sincerity, authentic life engagement,

where what stirs soul

is encouraged, finds expression

through everyday small acts,

yet often when alone

cynicism can enter psyche

dampening impetus to create

thinking who really cares,

what differences are made

when producing without witness,

no one appreciating persevered

progress with caring heart,

so thoughts of ridiculed

meaningless pursuit without redemption

won't last, can vanish

just from being seen

pursuing inspiration, reason enough

for 'on purpose' living.

Falling

Lower Montezuma Falls

Montezuma, Costa Rica

Falling

10/9/10

Like leaves in October

protective layers find descent

revealing past scarred wounds,

stems from prior fruit

shaky fingers trail over

in 'mind's eye', wondering

am I courageous enough

to willingly re-enter arena

where piercing happened before

when leaving myself vulnerable

bearing innocent open heart

and soul of dreamer,

often ignored realist demands

recanting stories of hurt,

humiliating failure, rejection, demise,

my seemingly utter incompetence

within female intimate relations,

tales deaf to ears

under love's falling waters.

For You

John and Belinda's new home and carriage doors I built and installed.

For You

10/9/10

This world awaits recognition,

wants to know itself

through activation by witness

who observes, touches, appreciates,

realizes that like art

one's 'completion' means sharing

your diversity with audience,

bringing inner creativity out,

and Existence has room

in expansive All Potential

for any expression possible,

patiently situated beyond veil

as 'thousand million destinies'

willing, able, to manifest

form through idea, actions,

becoming embodied life miracle,

what was empty space

is now 'soul filled'

by you, for you.

No Performance

My partner and my always performing 2000 BMW R1100RT.

Pescadaro, California

No Performance

10/8/10

This is so very different

than past 'giving to get'

in it's overt, covert forms

when intermingled with lusty notions

of wanton desire for sex,

confusing heart space with adrenaline

that accompanies a new adventure

which bleeds into needing more,

then turns toward circumstance control

to continue supporting distorted infatuation

all the while missing question,

response, connection to 'What's this?',

instead I'm pioneering virgin territory

opening to present moment awareness

with such depth of Spirit

where I enter into Mystery,

divine union with partner, as

enmeshed Souls loving without expectation,

no performance, only essential authenticity.

Small Increments

Monterey Bay and end of Santa Cruz pier from Boardwalk Beach.

Small Increments

10/7/10

Americans shoot for the moon

imagining meteoric rise to heights,

and capitalism promotes the same

giving credence to aggressive promotion

for success within insane system

propelling politicians, entertainers into stardom,

ironically casting dissenters as crazy

those opting out of madness

on micro and macro levels

while woven into interconnected world,

in reality it's questioning oneself

everyday on most minute choices

that creates shift, ripples water,

then becomes life changing wave

wherein hindsight we witness trajectory

fueled by patience, understanding, growth,

realizing sense of soul's destiny

which keeps directing us forward

with small increments of faith.

Into-Me-See

Statue of intimacy.

Into-Me-See

10/6/10

Many like this word play

so direct in defining 'intimacy'

when attentively turned upon oneself,

affectionately focused toward cherished other,

or drinking in precious world,

there is peering beneath surface

witnessing one's accumulated 'personal nature'

often purposefully hidden for distrust

thinking no one would understand

inner workings of troubled soul,

even though we all are

within differently oriented varying degree,

I enjoy believing highest blessing

is engaging another's aligned heart

beating rhythm of love's vibrant

syncopated electric energy when together,

and apart, just from thought

of sharing breath, kiss, touch,

life's interwoven 'into-me-see'.

No Name

Winter view from the 'one lane track' a couple miles from my 'croft' in Kintra.

Isle of Mull, Scotland

No Name

10/5/10

Words pale to describe

Love, Existence, Source, God,

yet poets still try

when wanting to weave

thread that connects heart

with incredible aliveness felt

in deep appreciative connection

to joy surging inside,

verily Heaven and Earth

combined in smiling human

having discovered friendly universe

full of magic, miracle,

which gift blessings galore

once opened to receive

bounty from saying 'Yes!'

while embracing simple truth

through presence each moment,

'awakening, opening, transcending, remembering,

honoring, dreaming, walking, guarding,'

what 'no name' contains.

Surfacing

Pool overflow from 'healing well' near north coastline of Wales.

Surfacing

10/4/10

So much stays hidden

traveling dark underground rivers

until emotions finally escape

through wound as access,

bubbling up like spring

to appreciatively drink from,

bathe in, wash clean

life's mud encrusted jewels,

by letting flow go

past resistance or reticence

when exploring the waters

that reveal what's true,

only hinted at before

from rippled feeling inside,

and it takes courage

to test status quo

where tension builds energy

waiting to create change

surfacing miracle of healing.

Full Days

'Oh, bed!' with 'Wing' taking advantage.

Full Days

10/2/10

I remember years past

of constant work, play,

during spring, summer, fall,

pouring myself into bed

bone tired, yet happy,

verily giggling the 'mantra'

'Oh, bed!' 'Oh, bed!'

in anticipation of rest,

and how busy cycles

reap benefits and rewards

while also straining constitution,

where waking body sore

has me reflecting distance

traveled last week, evenings

with Toastmasters, softball, radio,

Ken's fundraiser, movie, daily

repairing client's deck railing

as home lacked attention

from full days away.

Community People

Scottish birthday celebration in Pennyghael Community Hall.

Isle of Mull, Scotland

Community People

9/30/10

Last night walking Seabright Beach

'Wing' dog leading the way

I realized my immediate family

and ancestral lineage as gregarious

outgoing lovers of humanity, life,

involved in team sports, organizations,

like Dad's 'Knights of Columbus'

my Grandpa Rudy's 'Lion's Club'

Mom's volunteering in 'Grey Bears'

child rearing siblings' school participation

brother Keith's softball, volleyball groups,

where I looked at myself

becoming amazed by the 'circles'

calling me 'member' over time

while learning, growing, then leaving,

moving onto next waiting collective

that was aligned with interests

never really leaving the previous

when remembering enlivened community people.