Clearing

View of clearing  for new storage area structure, seen from workshop side roof.

Clearing

1/29/10

The mind can be cluttered

with everyday pressures and concerns

especially when anticipating the future,

wondering what challenges will come,

somehow wanting to be prepared

which makes little room for

new expanse or healthy growth,

much like overgrown wooded hillside

where small, large trees, vie

for sunlight, space, needed ingredients

to fulfill their natural inclination,

and there is poison oak,

scotch broom, sticker bushes galore

that make movement, access, difficult

when pruning or eliminating obstructions

blocking one's clarity of vision,

whether immediately close or distant,

it requires small concerted actions

initiated for change in landscape

often times not knowing difficulties

waiting to be found underneath

brambles, brush, years of leaves,

all remnants to past cycles

while tools for unveiling vary,

chainsaw, loppers, rake, and clippers

depending what's needed in moment,

but finally, over exerted time

after bonfire burns old cuttings,

an intelligent clearing is revealed.

Jump In

Local Costa Rican, soon to be wet, at loading pier for ferry to Montezuma.

Jump in

1/28/10

Seen as this if 'voluntary'

even if there is apprehension,

'involuntary' feels like thrown in,

either way finds me wet

swimming in pool, totally enveloped,

but in ocean, or river

instead of calm, contained water

there is different skill set

called upon to stay afloat

which includes a concentrated focus

able to perceive 360 degrees

around center of my being,

and many life situations resemble

all encompassing act of submersion

when taking leap into unknown

risking conceptual security for what,

the chance for self improvement,

some break to catapult career,

or engage possible love relations,

no matter intention, it's same,

one must overcome any fear,

be willing to embrace courage,

endure the injury, or hardship

teaching life lessons along way,

if I come up short

where flying turns into falling,

losing control in changing world,

then with expanded, joyful attitude,

I jump in, when pushed.

As Example

My Mom (Dot, Dottie, Mumsie) with her grandchildren.

(a few years before Tyler's arrival)

As Example

1/27/10

Every person is this

in how they maneuver,

navigate their life journey,

make sense of experiences

through each yearly cycle

depending the risks taken

and 'breaks' that follow,

there is story depiction

to be told later

by those who remember,

having shared same air,

sunshine, storms, full moons,

perhaps inextricably tied together

because of blood connection,

friends as extended family,

lovers for a time,

any number of reasons

that leave historic mark

after we're long gone,

legacy is often used

for physical output created,

in literature, art, business,

whatever specific archive reveals,

but it's the intangibles

always surrounding one's being,

of invisible spiritual nature,

a radiant generous heart,

genuinely giving, receiving, alike

which imprints as example.

Owning Soul

Self portrait, with rare mustache, outside my 'croft' in 2006.

Kintra, Isle of Mull, Scotland

Owning Soul

1/26/10

Most personal growth fields

concentrate on ego gyrations

and mechanisms to effect

desired results in world,

express feelings when felt,

know your personality type,

deal with ranging personas

whether good, powerful aspects

or destructive, distorted ones,

meditate, do yoga, exercise,

have astrology chart rendered,

visualize, take action steps,

utilize left, right brain,

communicate with compassion, vulnerability,

as openhearted loving human,

maintain mind, body, emotions,

but Spirit, that's ambiguous,

since religion usurped control

from matriarchal Earth cultures,

those who knew interconnectedness

of Absolute and Creation,

teaching self authority, responsibility,

that we're Divine Beings

birthed within Sacred Dream

to remember our Origin,

living free of fear

fully relaxing into insecurity,

this ever changing world,

when centered, owning soul.

Lull

A break in storm with 'dragon's breath' lifting  between eastern ridges.

View from my workshop roof.

Lull

1/25/10

In between the business

of this demanding world,

born from accumulated desires

that inundate like rain,

is a silent veil

with an accordant vibration

subtly carrying acute calm

undetectable within the storm

swirling attention, here, there,

everywhere, toward outside movement,

this is constant backdrop

framed by inner dimensions

founded upon Spirit spark

which supports all Creation,

some would say death

offers the ultimate respite

as reprieve from challenges

our ego entity offers,

and perhaps quiet contemplation

within moments of meditation,

when our breath slows,

resembles the coalesced alignment

we all are destined,

letting go of 'shell',

offering pause to others

who witness the completion,

one's circle of life,

perhaps then more willing

to embrace inevitable lull.

On Purpose

One of my countless purposeful acts .

(photo by Art Durand Photography)

On Purpose

1/23/10

Many interests call me

and even more projects

whether it's land, office,

for money, or pleasure,

things to read, write,

imagine as future dreams

with all their potential,

inherent possibilities eccentricity brings

within each new day,

while often ego pull

wins out over responsibility

to deeper soul aspects

which points life journey,

it all swirls about

like wind and rain

redistributing leaves upon soil,

scattering seeds, far flung,

where priorities get lost

buried by latest notion

deemed urgent and worthy

that distracts from effort

toward a greater unfolding,

perhaps just an illusionary

whispering interest on sidelines,

yet with clear quality

stirring some ancient remembering

as promise to myself

between worlds of incarnation

saying 'Be on purpose.'

Back At It

'Hothouse' clearstory window project partially buried from organizing efforts.

(Photo toward south half of workshop.)

Back At It

1/22/10

Electricity now flows freely,

the severing is reconnected

and the rain returns

after short, calm reprieve

similar to my sabbatical

from usual daily creating,

being limited by darkness,

cold, the inhospitable outside

where I usually play,

but today holds promise

of flexing my potential

in heated, lit workshop,

with music in air

as I handle projects,

organize myself for others,

while putting synapse together

joining disparate notions, ideas,

into dreams that spark,

excite, with motivational passion

that tickles little child,

my mischievous, flexible adventurer

who gamely tries anything

to see what happens

when co-creating with Existence

which showed different face,

gave me fresh possibilities

without my usual resources,

often becoming distractions, until,

I'm back at it.

Another World

 A land of wind, water, rainbows, hills, trees, standing stones, and Mother Nature's beauty.

Isle of Mull, Scotland

Another World

1/21/10

Continuous rain days

blustery to gentle

with gray skies

glimpses of sun

on setting horizon

throwing occasional rainbow

paints different picture,

gives me rest

from hurried routine,

add no electricity

and rhythms shift

as darkness descends

bringing long nights

only 'torches' interrupt,

where sleeping early

bedded until dawn

makes perfect sense,

especially without work

that motivates energy

countering natural influences,

Nature's singing now

when water runs

winter winds gust

trees sway, dance

upon saturated ground,

Her song cleanses

slows outward creation

birthing human beings

into another world.

Without

Front of cave entrance from previous poem, Isle of Mull, Scotland.

Without

1/20/10

We are used to plenty

a security ancestors fought for

after accumulating more than enough,

not day to day subsistence

of many hunter gather societies,

as agriculture created a revolution

which ballooned population needing more

in every territory of life,

land, food, water, housing, heating,

so the Great Expanding began

'taken to extreme' doesn't touch

the scope of humanity's rape,

calloused, hard edged, and masculine,

where the virgin, goddess, crone,

were all buried with matriarchy

yet would not go away

and be banished to underworld,

all the while kept alive

by those who whispered praise

had eyes to see beauty,

her offerings surrounding year long

singing the song of heart,

keeping her teachings in memory,

orally taught like ancient Druids

that understood this interconnected world,

saw cause and effect results

plus fear, insecurity, and panic

infecting humans who were disconnected

living without Mother Earth respect.

Power Off

View of ocean from a cave on the Isle of Mull, Scotland.

Power Off

1/19/10

There are lapses

when energy lags

effected by environment,

inner and outer,

our thought quality

whether negative, positive,

food we ingest,

organic or processed,

variety of exercise

at work, play,

sometimes beyond control

abrupt severing happens,

perhaps it's sickness,

a personal catastrophe,

or national predicament

that robs opportunity

for re-establishing connection,

left in dark

we remember simplicity

the real basics

often overlooked, unappreciated,

things like housing,

food, water, air,

just being alive

to read book,

play a guitar

whenever electricity falters,

reminding the preciousness

power off illuminates.

Self Love

Six months of self love in Scotland, starting in late Aug. 2006

First month touring on this 'pony'. The rest on the Isle of Mull.

Self Love

1/18/10

Can this be key

to unravelling world's problems,

has it been culprit

for all previous woes

because it was unexpressed,

referred to as selfish,

narcism, an unhealthy focus,

which kept mind undeveloped,

unable to engage community,

think outside limited perspective,

I was taught humility,

no bragging, trumpeting success,

or proclaiming my worth

as if a curse

would befall such arrogance,

yet, I've had realizations

that perhaps society's fear

could have been protection,

perhaps ancestrally handed down

wanting me below radar

playing it safe, unremarkable,

saving me disappointed expectations,

in process spirit suffered,

avenues to power closed

while low esteem hindered

my choices in life,

and the world's population,

imagining drudgery and duty

sacrificially performed for others

 really creates self love.

Within Stimulus

Relaxing with Joseph before I head home to California.

Anamaya Resort, Montezuma, Costa Rica

Within Stimulus

1/17/10

It's easy in silence

to plumb the depths,

find what's going on

under my daily facade,

and that's a luxury

when rest of world

doesn't have same opportunity

for such essential introspection

without cacophony resounding about,

or some survival concerns

taking precedent in consciousness

sidetracking their soul's intention

of creating meaningful life,

perhaps it's not important

in other people's world

with plenty to entertain,

keep their mind occupied,

watching, not really participating,

hearing, yet listening little,

feeling, but dismissing emotions,

that's how it is

whether pro or con,

though I'll choose differently

even when very busy

finding space and ability

amid pulsating, demanding society,

carving out my path

uniquely through this Mystery

discovering Presence within stimulus.

Along The Way

Joey and John's son 'little' Sammy and 'uncle' SparrowHawk

Along The Way

1/16/10

The soul does witness

every ego antic engaged

on long evolutionary path

yet doesn't stop them,

more reserves judgment completely

for eons of time

perpetually loving past lives

like parent to children

watching in enthused amusement,

compassion, and deep understanding,

it's unique physical extension,

in early infant stage

there is little definition

of this 'cosmic cloud'

that hovers and protects

perhaps given identity as

'guardian angel', 'holy spirit',

bowing to invisible realms

where it's mastery dwells,

during adolescence, young adulthood,

minute recognition is given

amid cacophony of society

all it's reaching, striving,

but later in life

if one is fortunate

to ripen, living long,

an enveloping does descend

activating connection to Absolute

as magical wisdom robe

earned along the way.

The Gamut

The art of Joerg Engstermann shown at farmer's market in Montezuma, Costa Rica

The Gamut

1/15/10

I enjoy great conversation,

especially with old friends

who will travel distances

into the mind's eye,

folks who have experienced

up, down, and between

taking risks for love,

their one precious life,

while committed to fulfilling

the 'soul contract' made

before they entered physicality,

this world of evolution,

which involves every territory

of what 'humanness' entails,

there are no exceptions,

or everything is one,

but however we interpret

Existence is amazing extension

within realm of Absolute,

and we have minds

chocked full of notions

to be spoken about,

shared in intimate communion

with those we meet

when resonance takes hold

recognizing the simple similarities

on an endearing level

that creates safe arena

for running the gamut.

Stark Difference

Most of the work crew in front of their sleeping quarters.

Anamaya Resort, Montezuma, Costa Rica

Stark Difference

1/14/10

People become jaded, complacent,

by adapting furrowed brain

into routine programmed thinking

until nothing is new,

all has been compartmentalized,

becoming dull, gray, humdrum,

asleep to questioning reality

investigating one's life further

than nose on face,

our relationships get set,

packed full of expectations

encapsulating each in mundane

not wanting any disruptions,

wishing conformity, it's security,

without vulnerably standing out

easier to cut down

if views run contrary

to normal societal interface,

but Mystery's a trickster

inevitably arranging opportune awakening

where attitudes, images, opinions,

beliefs, are provoked, challenged,

because of alternative experiences

whenever people who endeavor

respond in unique way,

more from soul, spirit, 

instead of confused ego,

so pathetic, blatantly inadequate,

standing in stark difference.

Dovetail

Circa 1972, near end of senior  year at Edgewood High School in Maryland.

Dovetail

1/13/10

This was old school method

for creating beautiful tight connection

when making corners for furniture,

or drawers in 'secretaries', dressers,

I've never actually made any

even with today's electric tools,

yet, I've come to appreciate

the craftsmanship, it's poetic nature

that speaks of real grace,

a clear vision and enactment

which performs it's unique marriage

between different pieces of wood

holding the sawyers labor history,

each stroke at precise angle,

afterwards looking inevitably at peace

being dependent part of whole,

and it's a supreme pleasure

looking back over accumulated years

to witness a similar perfection

coming from life's intermingled experiences,

where the dissonance and resonance

cut out the extraneous matter,

all that's worthy of forgetting,

while the real substance stayed

interlocking my soul and personality

in some destined natural alignment

born from rich interior world

becoming the physical outcome representing

hand hewn dovetail of existence.

New Influence

Stranger turned influential good friend of 35 years, Peter Clark.

(photo by ShuLei Tong)

New Influence

1/12/10

As simple as raindrops

bringing attention to weather,

or information effecting decisions

when tweaking my perceptions,

these create subtle re-calibrations,

also major, depending circumstances

 constantly happening in reality,

'Nothing stays the same!'

reverberates through human history,

and I can relate

after nearly 56 years

changing as I go,

unless choosing the same

in thought, deed, action,

but now I'm addicted

to the creative process

forever inviting what's original,

true, authentic, genuine today,

willing to be introspective

after some 'primary' experience

(which never happened before)

like meeting a stranger

who easily becomes friend

wondering what else waits

within realm of possibility,

each moment offers chance

for molding personal 'clay'

from undefended, vulnerable position

allowing for new influence.

Life Provides

A change of weather in Montezuma, Costa Rica

Wide angle/telephoto view from Anamaya Resort

Life Provides

1/11/10

Doors close, others open,

it's non-stop carousel amusement

of opportunities being presented,

don't like your choices

wait around for change

imagine it's Scottish weather,

this is real consistency

the continually shifting circumstances

to ride as surfers

who sometimes crash spectacularly

but also find grace

within temporary perfect alignment,

only to let go

unable to possibly hold

miracle that envelopes them

because next wave comes,

just as magically original,

pushing new currents forward

as test for abilities

which can be joyous,

and miserable, depending thoughts,

or our courageous risking

from insecurities fearful mix,

there is no void

within the physical world

filled with anything imaginable

if we trust ourselves,

Existence, our inner knowing

that life provides potential.

Revisit

Yacht Harbor Lighthouse from Seabright Beach,

 Santa Cruz, California

Revisit

1/9/10

While I grow older,

adjusting to changing perspective

because 'truth' has shifted

giving me new eyes

and heart to feel,

then world becomes transformed

as interpretive layers lift

which presents original shining,

the beauty always present

that escapes routine perceiving

from repetitive calloused outlook,

this gives great pause

whenever painting any reality

with 'sobering' broad brush,

how often is misunderstanding

at bottom of judgment

where internal jury decides

what is unequivocally 'so'

only to discover fallacy

once culprit enters history

hung from prejudiced gallows,

it takes daily awakening

reminding each virgin experience

occurs regardless of awareness,

no adulatory recognition necessary,

so it behooves me,

humanity, to start fresh

without our habitual consciousness,

able to revisit miracle.

Sparked

RainbowHawk, Red Puma, WindEagle, and SparrowHawk 

 Abiquiu, New Mexico

Sparked

1/8/10

There are people in life

who carry such a brilliance

that their light effects others,

often unique to those influenced,

perhaps it's a celebrity appeal

in show business, or politics,

could be parents to offspring

or visa versa, in kind,

beautiful humans, even as strangers,

can generate change of attention,

activate arousal in mind, body,

spirit, and emotion, by degree,

but when heart is touched,

perhaps mixing love, sexual appeal,

then aura becomes qualitatively enhanced

attracting desire for physical touch,

intimacy, a sharing and bonding,

where all dissonance is overlooked

because heaven has no imperfection,

this is territory of poets

challenged by feelings to express

whose mystery can't be deciphered,

it is inexplicable and exciting,

whenever smiles, joy, come easy

so everyday burdens simply lift,

are banished to unimportant realm,

while gates open to potential

the domain of miracle, magic,

sparked by eyes burning bright.

Exercise

A pause in singing and playing guitar with my good buddy Art.

(Photo by Art Durand Photography)

Exercise

1/7/10

Is this life's meaning,

to flex innate attributes

as unique human being

endowed with precious soul

which has special talents,

skills, to serve life

when engaging one's creativity,

maybe that is all,

everything else lacks importance

because nothing lasts forever

except for the 'Absolute'

that encompasses good, bad,

and what's in between,

allowing for any manifestation

mankind can conjure up,

so a thought comes

from who knows where

but it's vibration entices

stimulates aspects of consciousness

sending electrical impulse outward

activating desire for acquisition,

a command given ourself,

then we strive heroically

if passion is sufficient

or reason to persevere,

yet, specific outcome pales

is effected by circumstances

outside of our control

where striving becomes exercise.

Following Notions

Had a 'notion' to photograph this mysterious arrangement. 

 Santa Cruz, California.

Following Notions

1/5/10

Some give label 'intuition'

when little ideas emerge

seem to bubble up

from within one's psyche,

others will say 'reason',

it's part of process

if looked at holistically

and I don't care

what you call it

just that it's fun

when taking the cues

coming from another dimension

providing an odd recognition

unique to each individual

that verily says 'Go!',

do this particular thing,

here's gift from Heaven

a piece of Destiny

which awaits if chosen,

if not, you'll wonder,

perhaps, what waited there,

how would it effect

life down the line,

though 'Yes!' provides insights

reinforces this Mystery intelligence

especially if good results

come attached to lead,

almost a 'deja vu'

quality when following notions.

Feeling In

Nap time for cat 'Paint' and dog 'Wing' on my bed,

while I'm relegated to the couch for mine.

Feeling In

1/3/10

It takes concerted practice,

like a homing device,

to recognize right action

at any given moment,

often many things call

from 'to do' list,

some demand more energy,

daylight, concentration, or impetus,

than others easily accomplished

especially if joy's attached,

but usually duty wins

because of old programming,

though, 'Is that true?'

more so I procrastinate

waiting for body recognition

to open the door

where I'm fully aligned

with the course chosen

and suddenly 'grace' descends,

willingness, passion, are ignited

so there's no complaint

or doubting my pursuit

wondering if better spent

on less enjoyable task

yet deemed more urgent,

while Sunday is different

I allow more leeway

taking nap if necessary

when feeling in need.

Spills Forth

The lower and largest of Montezuma waterfalls.

Montezuma, Costa Rica

Spills Forth

1/2/10

When writing New Year's list

of resolutions that are possible

if I commit to them,

they burst forward in avalanche

where hallucination becomes a reality,

all the improvements already made,

on land, home, business, relationships,

with accordant feelings of excitement,

reveling the wonder of manifestations,

basking in my fulfilled destiny,

patting myself proudly on back,

'You did it your way!'

then I wake to 'present'

look around, imagine the effort,

resources, energy, time, and discipline

to attain even a portion,

this is when work begins

selecting from all that's wanted

using criteria the 'soul knows'

is worthy to drive passion

while playing in vast field

of 'all potential' miracle realm

which allows for great probability

once attention, awareness, are set,

coinciding with 'what's true now',

that refines and defines course

and it doesn't guarantee success

yet acts as integral current

for when creativity spills forth.

This Year

Riding the cable on Sun Trails Canopy Tour

Montezuma, Costa Rica

This Year

1/1/2010

Not just end of cycle,

twelve months, decade, as marker

but also of 'Saturn Return'

that I'll start to exit

come my February 18th birthday

and I'm feeling calm, content,

at the same time excited

on a soul journey level

realizing stripping down is occurring,

is still happening on levels

conscious mind can't quite grasp,

where importance has been shifting,

what calls me forward changed

entering next 28 year period

with a different agenda forming,

as elder, looking toward legacy,

all that I'll leave behind,

so great creativity is anticipated

in every territory of life,

plus willingness to be bold,

dream big, take necessary risks,

to model what is possible

when one aligns with Spirit

while doing the earthly work

within reach that inspires others,

going beyond mundane survival mentality,

becoming one's own mythical hero

who vanquishes all residing fear,

this year, advancing wisely, brazenly.

New Potential

Two indigenous Costa Ricans in act of cooperative creation.

New Potential

12/31/09

The next decade waits patiently

while the last one expires,

some feel a Great Turning

promising foreseen Millennium of Peace,

others, fear a terrible demise,

but I concur with former,

wanting humanity to rescue itself

leave old debilitating patterns behind

as it evolves cooperative behaviors,

finds original ways to manifest

a Holy Alliance with Earth

borrowing from wisdom based cultures

who honor diversity, masculine, feminine,

grasp holistic nature of Existence,

are willing to be responsible

loving stewards of Life's miracles,

this is no small dream

to re-enter the mythical land

that 'reason' closed door on

so fear and domination ruled,

with systems full of distortions

creating a greedy, insane philosophy

economic titans painted as normal

using persuasive tool called 'war'

in deadly unsustainable power paradigm...

now, Spirited call is trumpeted

sending messages through vibrational consciousness

asking all to move joyously

toward new potential we'll create.