Saturday, October 29, 2011

Ending, Beginning

Early morning me.
(photo by Art Durand Photography)

End, Beginning

Living in a nutshell
this continuous cycle
I'm part and parcel of
forever changing
Soul connected Life Force
prevailing each day
in richly diverse pulsating Existence
as omnipotent
which is also me
joined at hip
there's no escaping the miracle
we're in
teeming phenomenon so grand
how could anyone
get lost within their 'troubles'
missing blessings
though I can find
melancholy coming around
when something that is valued
turns missing
ending, beginning.

Enough Already

My writing den with an overhead shelf full of poetry books I've written since 1980.

Enough Already

There are plenty of books
that contain myriad rambling words
about personal process of introspection,
'contemplating my navel' some say,
plus observations directed at world,
relationships, whether good, bad, between
work, spirituality, Existence, friendship, emotions,
really just a glorified diary
to revisit someday for memories,
and it's been great practice
in energetically clearing inner slate
as an early morning ritual
of gifting myself with time
to appreciate life first, foremost,
doing something I truly love
when being creative while writing,
birthing original 'full circle poems'
most days, exercising 'God' nature
bringing ideas into physical manifestation,
this I'll continue until death
though wanting form to change
while accommodating urge for exploration
penning expression of different types,
short stories, 'educational, philosophical, political'
commentary, finishing novel, editing poetry
with aim toward eventual publication
since I have enough already.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Small Joys

About to engage a 'small joy' on Southwest motorcycle trip.

Small Joys

I want to make a list
of these, and large ones also,
kept on refrigerator with a magnet
for reminder when feeling off, not
optimal, potent, and virile, more depressed
from some run of negative thinking,
forgetting birthright as unique miraculous being
'no less than moon and stars',
which happens while focused on 'lack',
as result of eccentric, rebellious nature,
my critical judgement mind that rules
in reaction mode whenever I'm disgusted
with 'self', seen from Life mirroring
the 'shadow commitments' creating my reality,
thereby making appreciation of blessings difficult
because comparisons point out hidden expectations
about where, what, I 'should' be
by this age, with accordant wisdom
around all daily human aspects, concerns,
luckily strong ancestral blood courses through
veins as Scottish, Irish, Romanian Jew,
persevering spirit 'with no give up',
or 'in', for long, to melancholy,
instead eventually celebrating gifts it brings
disguised as troubles, later to find
small joys magnified after pendulum swing.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011


A view of Duarte Castle and the stone block of granite it's fortress walls were built upon.
Isle of Mull, Scotland


Feeling this of late,
opposite past ecstatic times
when thought on path
to higher consciousness nirvana
full of continued exaltation,
again hitting humanness wall
seeing ways I sabotage
by judging myself, others,
this supposedly civilized world,
as old patterns surface
testing for footing friction,
they then seemingly find
ground that again supports
their arguments, views, attitudes,
which once reigned supreme,
perhaps I'm at edge
of some grand breakthrough
percolating from 'shadow' work
around 'integrity, intention, abundance,'
while revisiting childhood history
doing 'exercises' in book
'The Energy of Money',
pointing to behavioral traps
I've been caught in
during past and now,
where freedom is limited
by unenlightened egotistical perspective.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Out Of Step

Main entry door and steps to Duarte Castle of the MacLean Clan.
Isle of Mull, Scotland

Out Of Step

In last two weeks
a couple accidents remind
how easy it is
to fall from grace,
witnessing a 'failed presence'
because taken for granted
abilities were thrown off,
delivering wake up call
that has me wonder
what's underlying greater message
being pointed my way,
as alternate realities wobble
like a shimmering mirage
of one who's thirsty
for knowing which door
presenting itself will open
with future that coincides,
seeing past ways offered
still available and familiar,
while an original world
beckons from ethereal visions
glimpsed as winsome possibility,
things I'd do if
money wasn't an issue,
or happenstance arrives taking
me out of step.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Work Up To It

New top story of water tower structure being lifted into place by King Crane.
Lakeside Organic Farms, Watsonville, California

Work Up To It

So much is preparation
when wrapping mind around
what's wanted to happen
with things in place
to accomplish difficult task
whether short, long term,
where resources, tools, knowledge
need to be assembled
while asking pertinent questions
along winding road forward
collecting wisdom left behind
by those fellow travelers
who've made similar journey,
readily giving their expertise
about experience reaping success,
in end each person
lives with decisions made
for better or worse
judged by resulting outcome,
right pace without impatience,
listening small quiet voice,
paying attention gut feelings,
trusting intuition as guide,
minimizing possibilities for error
becomes mantra whenever I
work up to it.

Friday, October 21, 2011


A creative bed 'headboard' to awaken under.


It's vision
with willingness
for commitment
while daily
moving toward
goal completion
that can
take longer
due to
so many
dreams wanting
physical manifestation
from ethers
where creation
process starts
after awaking
each morning
as human,
being, becoming,
always changing
with circumstances
forever fluid,
often threatening
possible failure,
instilling concerted
application efforts.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Make It Land

Trying to 'land' some sentiments while singing at my 50th birthday bash.
(photo by Art Durand Photography)

Make It Land

Heard this concept during radio interview
of woman who wrote amazing book
about 'easy steps to acting craft'
saying the 'British love words'
where elocution becomes languidly rich pronunciation
that enters theatrical, musical, heavenly realms
as consumable gustatory expression finding home
on Earth through ears of audience,
delivered with unique breath, adding color,
depth, realism, drawing on operatic power
of such 'presence' that it startles,
invites, verily sucks in the observer
to become engaged by feelings intricately
connected with what is being said,
distinctively utilizing perfect pace, inflection, volume,
for situation so 'real', communication happens,
people 'get' one another, deeply, wholeheartedly,
transmitting true meaning from core origins
creating atmosphere that's rarely fully imbibed
in mad world stumbling over itself,
often harried, hurried, while hurdling toward
future without total embodiment of 'moment',
hardly remembered because it's barely lived,
and troubled past of persistent phrases
haunts psyche wanting escape, never free
until committing to 'make it land'.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011


Applauding myself after playing a song on my 50th b-day.
(photo by Art Durand Photography)


At 'Money Mystics and Manifestation Course'
meeting Monday night, once per month,
shadow work around this was done,
the audience as 'one entity' called
out descriptions while energetically embodying concept
in it's power, minus any constraints
or excuse for showing up fully,
where I disturbingly recognized similar attributes
as part of my 'persona' makeup,
next the group entered disowned aspects
of this shut down 'distorted robe'
wherein these appeared even more 'true',
while personal 'owning' filled my list
overflowing to next page without effort,
'coming to light' afterward I realized
those latter revelations as 'real deal'
and former just weak pompous trappings,
understanding past reticence in applauding Self
because of early program of denial
from Catholic religion demanding everyone's humility,
to family more easily managed without
big 'egos' of seven children taking
up space, time, resources each day,
toward end 'Big Mind Divinity' aligned
with 'dysfunctional human traits' poetically combined
at 'Apex', made it okay, without
guilt, to expressively be 'authentic' narcissist.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Uneven Ground

The uneven Earth at Koli's Crystal Mountain in Finland.

Uneven Ground

Not easy keeping balance
when Earth moves underneath
with gravity pulling down
on curvy sloped roads,
pathways up hill, dale,
so much getting underfoot,
there are high, low
choices to be made
from vista to canyon
under sun splintered canopies
and fully exposed expanse,
while work, play intermingle,
take ping pong turns,
all one then another,
bringing serious presence, laughter,
experiencing bumps in life
within topsy turvy consciousness
that's often easily distracted,
feeling entitled to receive
joy, pleasure, peaceful living,
as white American male
having had good fortune
in years fondly remembered,
now back to beginnings
humbled by Nature's rough
uneven ground of Existence.

Sunday, October 16, 2011


'Byron Kitty' and 'Little Wing' dog.


I'm so very happily blessed
to have amazing animal creatures
sharing wonderful life with me,
'Byron Kitty' kneading my stomach,
'Wing' dog snoring on pillow,
these 'friends' like no others
so unconditionally loving, fully present,
exquisitely beautiful in their 'being-ness',
responsiveness, ways of uninhibited actions
which bring laughter, joy, wonder
about what they're thinking, feeling,
plus awe for unique shape,
embodied form, every perfect hair
precisely colored, placed, a masterpiece
created as one of kind
that fills heart to overflowing,
has me smiling in marvel
for how lucky I am
sharing many wonderful daily moments
whenever tenderness breaks me open,
expressed in touch, kisses, words,
saying how much I cherish
their miraculous existence so tremendous
as teachers, family, loyal confidants,
who ignite my generous spirit
while remembering missed human companions.

Saturday, October 15, 2011


Raised beds in fall condition waiting winter garden to be sown as act of expression.


Steady work
crams time
for self
into hours
before, after,
where weekend
promises reprieve
if not
filled by
other responsibilites,
social gatherings,
current projects
at home
waiting completion,
and aspirations
of expression
in workshop,
writing den,
on land,
plus reading
numerous books
while open
to inspiration
spontaneously arriving
adding to
full life.

Friday, October 14, 2011

Due Diligence

Sun exaltation under tree canopy on land I live on.
(photo by Art Durand Photography)

Due Diligence

I breathe in electric ecstasy
that makes my heart soar
while walking outside to kitchen
downstairs when greeting 'full moon',
magnificent as it outshines stars,
hearing crickets sing their symphony
exalting warm Indian Summer night
soon to turn morning glory,
there's something in atmosphere quality
which immediately boosts my aliveness
having me sit on steps
under tree canopy with cat,
taking it in, becoming One
with this expression of Existence
showing up as nonstop Beauty
in small and large ways,
every part taking it's cue
from others intricately interconnected to,
becoming seamless Mystery that inspires,
catalyzes, invigorates my cellular body
no longer separated from rest
of Creation, these plants, animals,
elements, earth, air, fire, water,
totally absorbed, at peace with
how Life shows up daily
reminding me of due diligence.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

On Knees

View of water, beach, Wharf, lighthouse, Boardwalk, on deck filled with tools to cut trim.
Santa Cruz, California

On Knees

Started applying baseboard on beach
home project with sweet view
at end of 16th avenue,
now employed by contractor neighbor
who also has another job
waiting for me next week
on last Hidden Valley residence,
to rebuild glass enclosed octagon
perched atop roof above kitchen
that's been leaked on forever,
again I'll be hunched over,
legs bent, my joints padded,
though smack dab in middle
of 360 degree expansive beauty
seeing for miles across bay,
Santa Cruz mountains beyond ridges,
both these jobs remind childhood
kneeling in pews of church,
humbly praying for help, Guidance,
bringing all concerns to God
letting fears and sins release,
feeling better for the penance
delivering 'new attitude' when completed,
one of always bowing down
in appreciation for miraculous life
while on knees in service.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Temporarily Closed

The sun about to be temporarily closed for business in Santa Cruz, California.

Temporarily Closed

Columbus Day shut bank, post office,
government business departments I wanted open
to handle affairs when off work,
made me adjust my plans accordingly
ending up at Starbucks with computer
keeping pace as 'Money Mystics' participant,
curious about written answers to questions
asked on latest video exploring 'abundance'
while getting clear concerning 'self sabotage'
that cuts me off from resources
I could use to support myself,
other folks believed in, nonprofit organizations,
friends, family, becoming a generous patron
with 'currency as energy' moving through,
not hoarding in fearful, greedy manner,
instead removing shutters that block love
light in heart yearning for expression,
expanse, as alchemist playing with potential,
letting go of old judgments stymying
Life Force meant to enliven exchange
in circumstances, appreciating, inspiring what's possible
inside every human, no matter degree
of denial around abilities to generate
wealth, as if dollars arbitrarily decide
one's worth, but really only point
toward temporarily closed willingness to commit.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Guardian Angel

One of four 'attribute angels' on walls in Celtic inspired chapel.
Compton, Surrey, England

Guardian Angel

Recently, neighbor couple, old friends,
dropped in unannounced during walk
which was wonderful joyous surprise,
where afterward I received book
as gift, 'The Gentle Way'
penned by 'Tom T. Moore'
introducing 'most benevolent outcome' requests
to be used for everything,
from mundane to urgently important
in life, love, business, health,
anything, like wanting parking space,
so I'm using simple process
that engages my 'guiding companion'
disowned at ten years old
when 'momma's boy' smoked cigarette,
lied, did what was unapproved
by Catholic Church, parents, society,
not wanting 'witness' over shoulder
activating 'conscience' to remind me
about straying from 'high road'
seen as unreachable, unrealistic, joyless,
severely strict, disciplined, innately unexciting,
this began fall from grace
as 'alone' wolf struggling since,
dependent on my paltry humanness,
disconnected, hard, without intentional prayer
for myself, others, this world,
failing to embrace Guardian Angel.

Sunday, October 9, 2011


'Chaminade' sailboat entering harbor after sunset tour, framed between two lighthouses.
Santa Cruz, California


It's fascinating phenomenon
to be consumed
during creative process,
where mind dances
between brain hemispheres
making decisions based
on intuition, reason,
calmly drawing from
well of inspiration,
fluidly timing actions
within ebb, flow,
even when challenges
bringing seemingly contrary
circumstance to ponder
provoke acute attention
toward details unfolding,
held strictly, loosely,
depending puzzle piece
being dealt with
and final result
anticipated, not seen
until last stroke
of genius channeled
through my senses
as Life Force
I'm absorbed in.

Saturday, October 8, 2011


A second set of steps completed in the nick of time for 'Open Studios' starting today.


I do this sometimes,
put myself under pressure
by being in denial
about urgency or importance
until 'last minute' inspires
concerted effort toward completion
that supplies needed impetus
via adrenaline to persevere
what I've been procrastinating,
because no joy came
with guiding intuition when
checking in with myself
and trusted body wisdom
until finally realizing I
hadn't focused on completion,
only the tedious doing
which mostly appears unappetizing,
so I've become curious
wondering about underlying pattern
which could be permeating
intimate relationship with love,
money, aspirations around writing,
art, improvement projects, partnership,
expecting an easy unfoldment
as if somehow entitled,
always finding the time
when feeling deadline squeeze.

Friday, October 7, 2011

Makes Headway

New set of steps over old that I'm currently working on.

Makes Headway

Simple steps, everyday action,
set course in motion
toward an eventual completion
of long delayed project
that drains Life Force
while thinking about it,
wondering how and when
I'll designate time, effort,
to follow things through,
which effects work elsewhere
wanting clients pleased, myself,
reminding I come first
because subjugation isn't effective,
self-imposed, or by others,
needing to trust Guidance
coming in small bits
as gut intuition, hunch,
to claim my life
utilizing dedicated 'soul authority'
deciding future from 'core',
what will play out
whether succeeding, or failing,
all the time learning
even during procrastination process,
whatever I'm attentive to
makes headway each day.

Thursday, October 6, 2011


First October rain that threw rainbows to the east while washing things clean.


Can I dance
to piper's erratic rhythmic beat,
forever playing
quiet, loud, fast, slow,
past, future, now,
creates cacophony in memory banks
becoming dust
upon annuals of time,
flexibility, openness to
spontaneous acceptance of 'what is',
moving fluidly
as weather, environment, change
rainbows, storms, sunshine,
ushering in smile, frown, peace
of mind,
because Soul deeply trusts
with miraculous Source,
reminding again 'All is One'
big event'
occurring simultaneously at moment,
any adjustments made.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011


Dragonfly visiting 'GT' and I at mountain lake in Mt. Shasta.


Two years since 'dragonfly' poem
written in blog declaring intentions,
boldly claiming 'soul destiny' directive
from poetically fluid development period
within dark depths of liquidity,
influenced by currents on surface
stirring up rich wisdom lessons
as ingredients to strengthen understanding
around deep commitment 'transformation' needs,
whenever exiting water's emotional environment
to enter air's clear domain,
becoming sleek, beautiful, solo pilot
loving powerful rainbow inspired form,
whole, fast, versatile, awe inspiring,
exquisitely sensitive to shimmering light
illuminating translucent, strong, gossamer wings,
where I'll dart over terrain
flying effortlessly, suspended in breeze,
go up, down, forward, reverse,
a witness observing constant change
occurring on winds of time,
using mercurial mind, multifaceted eyes,
many legs, to maneuver reality,
dreams waiting my surprise discovery,
using newly found perspective birthed
from miraculous emergence still unfolding.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

New Information

Snow dusted mountain in Scotland with monument honoring first World War soldiers.

New Information

Interviewed Erik Peper on 'Fighting Cancer'
a book about nontoxic treatment approach
chalked full of inspiring educational practices
with sections on asking questions, recording
instructions, warning against making decisions influenced
by 'fight, flight, freeze,' knee jerk,
ways to live healthy that empower
people which strengthens their immune system,
useful even if not fighting disease,
while talking about personal growth tools
such as visualization, inner dialogue, emotions,
influences of posture, energy drains, enhancers,
exercises to promote relaxation, or motivation,
eating good food, getting regular sleep,
being creative and having supportive environment
of friends, family, community that encourage,
help, are there for real conversations
around fears, hopes, sense of purpose,
sharing love, all important in choosing
to persevere, utilizing an expanded outlook
when defeat of one's diagnosed condition
feels like mountain that dwarfs abilities,
resources, and willingness to actively engage
fighting capabilities on successful 'hero journey',
pinpointing dragons to slay after using
new information to enact daring strategies.

Sunday, October 2, 2011


Advertising in train station at Helsinki, Finland.


Spoken or not, we are inundated
by opportunities to enter daily relationship
with Life on simple, grand scale,
often taken as demand if unwanted
no matter how it's sneakily disguised
by someone wanting resulting behavioral outcome
when coerced by partner, co-workers, boss,
or society with do, don't, directives
plus advertising looking to hook you
while sex sells clothes, lifestyle, alcohol,
through media churning out mixed messages,
all these coming from exterior sources,
'requests', originating on inside, are different
and can become a sincere prayer
asking for benevolent outcome in future
as intentional, expansively non-specific affirmation,
whether desiring parking space, love, money,
work, health, new openings in arenas
of Existence that have been closed
due to shortsightedness, fear, disbelief, arrogance,
any number of limiting mental constructs
meant for protection, though they strangle
surprising promising potential ably transforming world,
how we see, hear, feel others,
ourselves, every moment minus acquired prejudices,
whenever witnessing disturbance as Soul invitation.

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Join In

Old 'medicine circle' of friends I joined in with from past Ehama Institute days

Join In

How long have I kept distance
not letting friends, acquaintances, get close,
holed up in my little sanctuary
away from loved ones without sharing
beauty of this land, home, myself,
because there's been shame around condition
of how I 'represent' in world,
everything in some sort of process
that from outside could look crazy,
like I often feel on inside
when out of hand risks fail,
coming back here to 'what is'
tail between legs as if beaten
to remember and appreciate my blessings,
what good I add to world,
where my heart dwells amid chaos,
while gaining new perspectives as impetus
for action to break through confinement
I've implemented when fearing disparaging judgment
by others for how I've orchestrated
my life until now, reviewing images,
attitudes, opinions, beliefs, results kept secret,
this critical mind blocking original pathways
toward joy, abundance, love, community inclusion,
thinking it knows best, but doesn't
whenever choosing to not join in.